The Bloghound: Jan 27th buzz

Hey guys! Joel Steinberg here. Welcome to the first ever edition of The Bloghound, where no blog is left unturned for the hottest info this side of the sun. Amazing things have been happening and it's had my snout in overdrive this entire week (but don't worry, my bark is worse than my bite hah hah).

No time to waste now. Itadakiblog!

ITEM! Digicarrot has done a complete revamp of his website, Waffle Batter, and I have to say that it's even (Waffle) "batter" than before!

PEDOMANIA! bbq, who runs Lollytron has started a new contest called "SaiLolly" where kawaii little girls face off against each other to rule supreme. Why don't you go and help them out, but don't get hurt desu sugoii!

ITEM! Randy Fitzgerald (that's one crazy nickname! I don't even get it?!) has updated the ikiKONAMI calandar so it now shows kid's toys and porn. I don't know about you guys, but that's got nothing to do with the anime I know and love. Tsundere!

WOW! Studio ufochair blew me away with how they managed to turn anime upside down with the innovative Gakuen Utopia Manabi Hard Straight! That scene with the hoverscooter was just like in Back To The Past 2, but even better because that movie was dubbed with American language (LOL LAME)! Hey, how 'bout you stay in the past, Martin McFly!

DISAGREEMENT! But why people like Bobby "The Brain" Hinano don't like Manabi Hard Straight is crazy! T.H.I.S Animeblog even did a parody of it. Just because you're a beautiful young girl doesn't mean you have the right to criticize others, Miss Imps!

Scandal! The ASX (that's short for The Anime Student Exchange) was accused of stealing column ideas from The Shallot parody website. Is that supposed to be a joke, because I'm not laughing!

KAKKOI! Are any of you watching Bleach: Hurricane Chronicles? I don't know who that new shinsengumi who turned up looking like the Fonz' is, but if this storyline is half as good as the Bounty Bar one, I'll be "bleach"ing my pants from all the excitement!

INSANE! Over at Makanaidesu No Way Yo! they've started a review section just for ahoges. That's one crazy otaku! Mad props (or should I say, mad hair? lol)!

MCCLOUD! After a decade of petitioning, they've finally decided to make anime based on The Highlander movies! Well it's about time! I guess this this franchise really is... immortal? (little known fact: the people in the movie are immortal, too)

SCOOP! My insider sources tell me that The Melancholy Of Haruhi JP Meyers has been licenced and it'll all be announced very soon! If this does come true, just remember that Joel Steinberg told you first!

GYPSYED! Ikimashow.net has a trailer up for Ichigo Kurusaki OVA. I watched the whole thing and I didn't see any hollows or deathgods anywhere!

Phew! That's it for one week, but don't worry because I'll be back! And remember, kids: if you hear something sniffing about, it's probably the bloghound on the prowl!

New Columnist: Introducing The Bloghound woof woof!

Hey, fellow anime watchers! Joel Steinberg here. And let me tell you: someone must have let The Bloghound out the doghouse because I'm sniffing out some tasty scoops to do with the blog scene this week! (for those not in the know, "blog" is internet shorthand for "website blog." You'll find lots of handy tidbits like that in my columns) But before we get down to business (and I wish I could post everything today, because I can hardly hold back my excitement!) I've got to tell you a little bit about yours truly, so you know I'm not some fly-by-night hucksta, looking to sneak by with fake news like some other shameful sites out there.

I'm a middle aged male, single, prefer hot chocolate to coffee, and have been hardcore into anime ever since I accidentally flicked over to the Cartoon Network one day and saw them playing a show called "Naruto". It was an old show that a lot of you youngsters probably won't remember (makes me feel old now, hah hah), but the first time I saw it I was hooked and had to find out as much as I could about this strange japanese animation.

Obviously times have changed quite a bit since then, and now there's tonnes of new shows out there and Cartoon Network isn't the only place to find it (if you know what I'm saying *wink wink* coughDVDcough) but one thing hasn't changed, and that's how everything which isn't Japanese is not as cool. And I don't want to get sentimental but it's that very fact which makes me get up in the morning and scour all these blogs, looking for the juiciest gossip out there, just so you guys don't have to.

Oh gosh, look at the time! Well, thanks for sticking with me this far. Tomorrow I'll have up my official first ever column on this website. I hope you'll be back, I know I will!

Manga Review Thingy: Lolicon Phoenix ch1-5

u need linux, windows is 4 fags lolz

Do you like manga? Perhaps you love 20th Century Boys? Maybe you pine for the glory days of Rurouni Kenshin? Hail the original NHK as equal to Proust? Is Fruit Baskets your thing?

If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, then Lolicon Phoenix may be exactly what you've been looking for all these years!*

*But it probably isn't.

In the first chapter we're introduced to "Best Of 2005" Mia-chan and our ever faithful justice of loli, the Lolicon Phoenix. Not only is he oddly buff for a 26 year old NEET, he wears a snazzy mask that helps keep his identity hidden and provides excellent camoflague from those who do not understand the importance of protecting little girls.

Haha, mere mortals cannot catch The Lolicon Phoenix!

The second chapter sees Lolicon Phoenix face off against a Muay Thai champion, intent on doing "this" and "that" with lolis everywhere. How can he possibly beat a man with a belt strap wrapped around his face??

Only those pure of heart are able to love little girls. It's true. Check wikipedia

In the third outing, things just got personal as the sweet Mia-chan is seemingly attacked by her own puppy dog that has changed into a rabid beast of illegal eroero. Only Lolicon Phoenix can save the day—if he can get out of the swingset that is!

That's how it was translated, I swear

The fourth scanlation has our masked hero meeting face to face with the infamous leader of the loli version of COBRA. Expect noone to come out unscathed from this show-down.

Hmmm, I have to admit, it does seem natural when you put it that way

And in the fifth and latest chapter scanlated, The Lolicon Phoenix decides to regroup and build his own batmobile to help escort lolis about town safely, away from those dubious types who wish to do them harm.

Go Speed!

Okay, in all seriousness, Lolicon Phoenix isn't exactly classy manga; the translation effort is pretty rough and the artwork is of the standard that makes a guy like me feel confident that I could make money in the biz... BUT, if lowbrow is your way of the ninja and if any of those screens or even the very concept of a defender of all things loli amuses you I think it's safe to say that your life is forfit shoul you decide to foolishly pass this series over.

STOCK REPORT: Kanon Redux 15

Proving that ASX is on the cutting edge of anime blogging, we proudly bring you a report on Kanon 15 a mere week after it's fansubbing.

Suicide with bunny ears is sad, yet refreshingly moe at the same time.

With Black Lagoon delisted from the index it's been a bleak time for our stock analysts, but thankfully the remake of Kanon (aka Yuichi & Hos Inc.) is there as an active replacement at the top tier of the stock market charts.

In a risky move last Saturday, Kanon² took a departure from putting up wallpaper and watching people eat food and surprised everyone by stealing CGI from The Melancholy Of Harriet Susan-Meyers.

Perhaps due to the change in weekly format, the company's CEO wound up carrying a lot of the burden while fending off accusations from the press. It was a move that ultimately paid off, however, as KANO2 saw a steady two and a quarter rise by week's end.

However, we are saddened to report that Yuichi was violently assaulted outside Kanon's main offices on Friday night. He is in stable condition as of writing, and Akiko is said to be bringing him special jam that will help cure the injuries. No hospital staff could verify this for us, though, claiming that they all suddenly had to be somewhere else.

Go for it Yuichi, noone will know!

Rozen Maiden on DVDesu, where's the love?

8 out of 10 bloggers still resent the fact that she beat some jobber I don't care about in the finals of Saimoe 2006

So apparently Rozen Maiden has been licensed by Geneon. I discovered this purely by chance after going to ANN to find out more details on these homoerotic Genshiken OVAs (in a good way).

I then went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water; came back upstairs and proceeded to do a spit-take all over my monitor as a reaction to how awesome this is.

After that I scratched my head and wondered exactly why it is I'm getting my info from ANN anyway? Surely my faithful blogging chums would have spread the word already, and said some stuff about how ball-shatteringly great/suckx0rZ Suiseiseki is? Well, apparently not because you're all a bunch of fat lazy slobs who can only muster the energy to deliver succint information to my doorstep when it pertains to photos of anime figurines with foreskins pulled over their heads.

Anime-nano? More like Anime-you'llgetnaNOFUCKINGTHANKSFROMME! Dot com you sloth-like whores.

So anyway I'm pretty excited that I can finally get me some hawt flowery hamburger action on DVD, wheeeee! \o/

P.S. Millions of people have implored that I return to updating the ASX (the proper way; not with this tat). Well, they'll be pleased to know that I opened up notepad and started on a stock report, right this morning! I gave up after 5 minutes, but that's besides the point. When I get my juice back I'll be unstoppable again.