BL NC* - $29.75 // Kzka ↑4.½ - $22.0 // Nar ↑0.¾ - $37.0 // Ser NC* - $37.50 // SaiCha ↑15.0 - $45.0 // JkuSM ↓2.½ - $20.50 // GaKu ↑2.¾ - 33.0 // Eprxy ↑2.0 – $32

Friday, December 19, 2008

Dec 20 Samurai Champloo a new record

The Stockrooms closed and everyones brought out the champaign for the end of year breakup Xmas party, I thought I better write this up since Ive had a few and ill start yelling at company managers to pull their head in soon


Any one else get Hay fever or is it just me, I never used to but its starting to kill me, or it could just be the Jack Daniels I have right now, we will never know. It takes me an hour to do these things, lets see how wasted I am by the finish.

Bleach – NC* $29.75

Kurozuka – ↑ 4.½ $22.0 total

Naruto – ↑ 0.¾ $37.0 total

Soul Eater – NC* $37.50 total

Samurai Champloo – ↑ 15.0 $45.0 total

Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae – ↓ 2.½ $20.50 total

Gankutsuou – ↑ 2.¼ $33.0 total

Ergo Proxy – NEW* ↑ 2.0 $32.0 total

Bleach ( BL) e199 – Editors note* Rage descends upon me when company directors feel the need to brake from the business plan, further more so when the FCC goes and sticks there dick in as well, even if just a little bit. Why would you censor the underboob but allow someone to be impaled? Why would you turn Nemu pail white when she was meant sucked dry to a skeleton, just like when you play with 30ft spiders. Why do you take all the little amounts of awesome bleach has left and shit it into oblivion?! The only thing countering this weeks faggotry was Nemu again. Not sure why, probably because she is one of the hottest bleach girls beside Matsumoto and Yoruichi. That captains poison was a total plot hax as well and poorly explained. They even censored the badguy getting stabbed in the heart. NC* on bleach this week staying on $29.75 a share.


Kurozuka (Kzka) e10 – Stock holders rejoice, ANSWERS AND PLOT FOR EVREYONE! Besides the bondage and aids infected blood, the psycho girlfriend is now in cahoots with the bad guys and is cheating on kuro with the clone of that dude thats good with the guns but scared of beetles, IT ALL MAKES SENCE NOW! Did I mention that she now cuts his head off every 100 years and sticks it to the corps of some other dude? I guess theres a niche market for that somewhere. Up 4.50 to $22.0 share. It just feels good to have closure.

"Pointless nakedism”.

Naruto (Nar) e089 – Naruto makes a new “unfinished” supermove that he can no longer use or he dies... Didn't see that coming. Nar raised $0.75 to $37.0 this week thanks to Kakashi coldly finishing an enemy off, he was as good as dead anyway, so that made it awesome. The rest of the eap focused on closure as the company decided to move in a new direction chasing after Saski again, although Kuboto and Orichamru are two good players in every shareholders books, Saski needs to grow a pair and fuck off somewhere. Take your emo with you as well.

"nice boots".

Soul Eater (Ser) e35-e36 – No subs? A shocking delivery from soul eater at the end of this fiscal quarter. Investor demand to see more blare is the only thing keeping this fiasco braking even.

"text braker, also enforces my point bleach".

Samurai Champloo (SaiCha) – e01-e18 – up $15, no shit, thats fifteen right there. This stuff is better than a hundred naked Jessica Alba / Beil's smothered in high price executive cocaine. This baby should be called “Tengen Toppa Shigurui trigun guran laggan”, but without the love and peace. I myself wont bother to try and sell you this, as I cant explain it as awesome as it should be. Ill ask sensei to do that later, hes pro. Never the less the stock market nearly crashed as everyone withdrew their savings and rocketed wads of $100 notes at Manglobe. I myself included. Samurai Champloo now rests on $45 a share.

"Fucked, so fucking fucked."

Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae (JkuSM) – No subs, no nothing. Listen up Shoujo, you were good, but not that good, If you think you can dick around for weeks at a time and not deliver on what your company was invented to do, Then I'm Pulling out. I and every other investor wants there 10e back now you useless bitch. Hellgirl my ass, why dont you go to hell on my balls. *Editors Note. I hate waiting and making other people wait, it feels like a kuni to the back of the face. The new season of Jigoku Shoujo has only realy delivered on new loli and a different transformation scene. Episodic Viewing is a relic of a bygone age and has become its pitfall of anime in totality. The reason animu is the be all and end all in the telling of a tale is because it has an end. Sure a story that goes on on for ever can be ok, but it slowly becomes tired and then forgotten, you can leave it for a year and come back but its still the same at the end of every episode, still has the same status quo. I for one find that worse than death. Down $2.50 a share.

"more champloo, watch that scene, its hilarious"

Gankutsuou (GaKu)e06-e12 – Further confirming the counts kickassery and epic top hat, Gankutsuou rises $2.25 a share this week thanks to his determination to get revenge in the most awesome way ever. Investors are still not quite sure how yet but every eap he seems to be pulling strings from behind and mind blowing people wherever he can while still holding his charm in front of everyone, an amazing feet as he managed to dig up the corpse of a bastard baby and present it to its adulterous mother for the finish of an epic game of “find the oldest and most haunted room in this mantion of hell”. Did I mention his top hat? It makes Slash look like a girl scout. Gankutsuou is now $33 a share.

"Its getting good."

Ergo Proxy (Eprxy)e03-e10 – This stuff is deep. Proxy figths are cool too. Eprxy managed to jump $2 a share on pure intrigue and Pino alone. On a side note Re-L has managed to pwn in the shareholders pants globally.

"best pimp slap Ive seen..."

If im a self hating jew, does that make me anti semitic?

Friday, December 12, 2008

Dec 13 Samurai Champloo a new hit

Subs trouble in most areas combined with new companies to hit the market, It seems to be going through its shonen faze, if any readers out here know of any other niche companies that aren't listed drop us a line and I can have a chat to the editor to chuck em in.

"Ill have a Gankutsuou stops halfway, thanks".

Two new ones this week, hope your paying attention, also that stock ticker bar isn't just for decoration.

Bleach – ↑ 5.0 $29.75

Kurozuka – ↑ 1.½ $17.50 total

Naruto – ↑ 1.¾ $36.25 total

Soul Eater – ↑ 2.0 $37.50 total

Samurai Champloo (SaiCha) – NEW* START ON $30 $30 total

Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae – ↓ 2.½ $20.50 total

Gankutsuou – ↑ 6.¾ $31.75 total

Ergo Proxy (Eprxy) – NEW* START ON $30 $30 total

Bleach ( BL) e197-e198 – While I was still unable to get hands on eap 197, DB were masturbating themselves raw in the faces of thousands with their monopoly hold on bleach and released them both at the same time, in some aspects this was good as investors only managed to get 19 minutes of new story out of them. The rest of it was just recaps of what happened 5 eaps back. Byakuya is badass as usual but at the same time he is a total asshole. I personally cant decide if thats a good thing or not but stock holders say otherwise by throwing bundles of cash at his face. On another note, is it me or do the espada with the best ability's just seem to fail at using them? The dude has total power over everything he can see, so he goes and gets the shit beaten out of him when he mind controls someones foot. Way to go champ! Bleach up $5 a share to $29.75 a share just because of Nemu.


Kurozuka (Kzka) e09 – Same dude talking about his scat fetish again. Good boss fight, no huge talk session or flashback. That blond chick rules in my pants. Too much other stuff stuff to rage at so I wont. Up $1.50 a share for getting reverse face stabbed.

"one of those, shut the hell up, moments".

Naruto (Nar) e088 – After management was successfully able to cram an entire episode of filler using the patented NaruFail technique, he finally managed to bust out his new move to the investors, which they did admit was pretty epic. Shikamaru still holds the title of true ninja after he captured his enemy, slashed his neck in half, strung him up with small explosives and riped him to bits. Afterwards he hurled his dismembered body into a huge 20m hole he dug yesterday and buried him with boulders that are now guarded by his clans ancestral sprit demon stags. Fuck yeah. While I myself thought this was a worthy action, other investors were too preoccupied with Narutos DBZ moment and thus limited itself on todays market. Naruto stocks raised $1.75 to a total $36.25 a share.

"i want to know this guys backstory, how the hell does he do that?".

Soul Eater (Ser) e35-e36 – Soul eater surprisingly only rising 2 points this week, it could have been 10 but all the CEO's decided to play us like suckers. The latest boss fight where Maka unleashed her new super move “chidori on a stick” was completely failed upon where the bad guy who was screaming in pain etc after getting shot up/hands cut off, decided to detach his head and bounce away on his nose. All this, to save himself from being cut in half. “Oh wow, im going to lose my legs even though I walk on my arms anyway, I better chop my own head off and throw it somewhere over there so I can live a healthy and normal life”. I almost punched my own face in rage as I felt all the hard work go to waste. Mifuni made an appearance and bumped the stocks up thanks to his commitment to stab a guy, rather than move out of the way of a giant block of wood flying to crush you, so all was not lost. For Mr shinigami, it seems is also not he bad guy any more as the real EBION shows up, market analysts predict that it will turn out to be his brother or something gay like that. Soul eater up $2 to $37.50.

"Demon hammer baby, Warhammer 40k makes everything better.".

Samurai Champloo (SaiCha) – NEW* A tough one to call. Founded by the same CEO of Ergo Proxy, Samurai Champloo is a sort of combination of all the good things, but as we all know, mixing ice cream and extra spicy beef jerky together sounds like a manly/awesome idea for a sandwich in theory, in reality everything goes soggy. From eap 1 investors spotted traces of other companies, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Shigurui and Naruto, immediately. People have noted, how it has a more realistic and fast paced style of fighting “so far”, no huge flashes of light or being cut by the air, but in many cases being cut by air is epic too. Lastly, it combines more of a old school hip hop beginnings of rap sort of thing that I can respect, , not the new cancer today that needs to be AIDS'd off the planet. If it can keep the same action as it did in the first Eap investors will will sink even further into their pockets to get more brake dance katana fighting. Starting on $30 a share thanks to the first eaps fight, on par with soul eaters jack the ripper.


Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae (JkuSM) e07-08 – managing to get hand on this finally, Jigoku Shoujo was expected to blow the market away with angry revenge, all we got was angry rage. The QUALITY seems to be falling, and by “seems”, I mean shit sux. I can remember way back when this company used to spread peoples minds and flay them over the space time continuum or at least there punishment was relevant to the action they preformed, these days the management team seem to be hiding behind the fact that its episodic and can spoon feed you any thing that comes to them in there lamest daydreams with no consequence. I want to see stuff that gave us a knee jerk reaction again, I want to see 5 year old children going to hell because someone stole my candy bar, I want to see innocent people who have spent there life without conflict forced to divide by 0 until there brain melts, all over some stupid reason like there face is ugly. But no, how bout we just watch the pink transformers play water guns, thats sounds like a good idea huh. Admittedly the transformation scene in Jigoku Shoujo is the best ive ever seen and I still havent got tired of it yet, other share holders disagree and state that it wont make up for the rest of the fail. Jigoku Shoujo falls $2.50 a share because everyone is ditching it for being late, coming to a total of $20.50

"I guess this is what passes for hell these days?"

Gankutsuou (GaKu)e04-06 – Gankutsuou management is pushing product through in marathon batches, which in turn is driving stocks up fast. The only problem is that its hindered by bad subs, one eap had none so I was watching the RAW while there was some sword fight going on. Im not sure why but some pissant picked a fight with a tank of a dude thats ex special forces, the same dude that picked his car up, with him in it, when it fell down a bank. Needless to say there was ass wupage and it all turned out like it would in real life, falling off a 50m cliff into the sea, only to be rescued baywatch style by the count. Did I mention this is all inside his house?.Although I would like to report on more from this elusive company, I can't. The plot so far seems as if its one big build up for the count to go completely NATO on someones ass but its still too earley to tell, becide that, it looks real pretty, so shut up and watch all the badass'ness. You can take my word, its badass. Up 6.75 a share to $31.75.

"If they dont have shares in Gankutsuou..."

Ergo Proxy (Eprxy)e01-03 – NEW* Almost as if its a clone of “ghost in the shell” Ergo Proxy has made its mark on Investors already, Under boob, (awesome Pantsu) guns, interesting AutoReiv/ character designs and epic monsters. It looks as if it could only go up, but black market insiders report that it decides to shoot its self in the foot as soon as they leave town, whatever that means. Besides that quick analysis, many investors have the incite that this product is “deep” and has many under written racist tones that we can only hope for. Starting on $30 a share from the first 3 eaps because most of us fell in love with Re-l. Ergo proxy management also boasted that you have not see a better OP in all history to date. This piss-ant financial newscaster tends to agree, but what do I know?

"with a face like that how can you not be kickass"

I love kittens, but I can't eat a whole one.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Dec 5 Artfag is the new Aristocrat

New Company this week while others fail. I on the other hand drink fine imported sake and lulz down upon everyone.

"My room, true story".

The rundown for the week. Since I have nothing better to say here, I was thinking we might put something insightful in these spaces, or classy/tasteful Yuri porn perhaps, your call.

Bleach - NC* $24.75

Kurozuka - ↓ 6.½ $17.50 total

Naruto - ↑ 4.¾ $34.50 total

Soul Eater - ↑ 3.½ $35.50 total

Seto no Hanayome Jin - Dropped $25.0 total

Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae - NC* $23.0 total

Gankutsuou (GaKu) – NEW* START ON $25 $25.0 total

Bleach ( BL) – and have both failed the market this week posting a torrent that when left for 3 days downloads nothing. If any investors can help this stock market watchdog get his hands on a black market copy it would be much appreciated. On another note DB and all other late subers can go to hell, what do you think the “Financial Time” news paper would do if they got dicked around like this? Brake a bottle of $300 champaign inside someones ass, that what.

"The rage was bigger and more red colored "

Kurozuka (Kzka) e08 – “Are you serious?” 11 minutes and 21seconds, from the beginning, they talk about nothing but 3 day old “Faeces”. Shit it tell you, Just shit! He actually spent two minutes in slow walk, no narration or thoughts, carting a shopping bag full of 3 day old runny cripple crap to a river. What the Fuck here people?! I have debtors who are going to declare bankruptcy and purge fast because of this. After gaining composure, the show really started after vine girl showed up, I felt a twang of epic as they stopped mid battle to act out a scene of what happened to some dead guy but as soon as people started to warm up to said vine girl, psycho bitch manages to teleport in and chokes everyone to death then leaves again giving another stupid quest to find some castle. Stockholders worldwide Raged. Kurozuka dropped $6.50 crashing to $17.50 a share.

"epic turd maneuver".

Naruto (Nar) e086-087 – A well needed double eap this week. Truth be told, I take back whatever I said about Shikamaru. He is now the only person in the whole company who is finally, a real ninja. Balls to the wall, he took out a knife and half cut someones head off. No stupid super move that always fails, no smoke or dust that clouds vision, plane as day knife to neck combo. It seems my telepathic hate thoughts have hit Naruto company officials in the face and decided to to do something real ninjas did. Up $4.75 to $34.50 a share for this one simple act. If every ninja did this Naruto would soon gain the monopoly due to the amount of people there to be killed.

"Oh snap, someone used a knife what its meant for".

Soul Eater (Ser) e34 – Its good to see open war in a singular/team character based show, not just the same old same old,where the usual heroes go forth and smite every unnamed henchman's face against a rock with no loss of their own. I'm talking armies of people fighting, where each person is an equal and not so easily brushed aside. I find it heart warming where the bad guys, who are often way more badass over all, get to ruin the good guys shit. Think back, try and remember when the last time the enemy's laid an ambush, and it worked. Mifune's appearance made stocks rise granted his situation, (if you really think about it you will realize how awesome it is), where he, a samurai, was chasing a zombie armed with a musket powered crossbow that could burrow through snow like a champion, pausing only in the action after he fired a thousand katana's out of his golf bag at him while falling off a cliff. Arachne and her love udders are always a welcome boost while an exciting plot thickens as it seems Mr shinigami kun is the badguy all along. Soul eater up $3.50 to rest on $35.50 a share.

"Come to think of it, that crossmusket/gunbow is a babe as well.".

Seto no Hanayome Jin (SHJin) – Dropped, the first company to go under due to lack of funds. Staff were pawned off and their product has run out. Die hard investors hoping later down the track new OVAs will keep the legend alive but all available freelance artists are hands down for the new Hellsing OVA. Times are tough in this depression.

"click view image for the hotness also, since when do fish have a knee?"

Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae (JkuSM) – No change as product was only released to spain this week, but with an episodic nature, no story line was lost and it holds its niche in the market at $23.0 a share. Come home soon Hellgirl.


Gankutsuou (GaKu)e01-03 – NEW* A new player this week, 2 episodes in and it feels like I'm tripping balls by just watching it. Working off master crayons wise words, “Theres no such thing as a bad premise for a story, as long as its pulled off really well”, I invested 5 episodes into Gankutsuou and by number 2 ,I realized I was watching. A story about the son of a general who made friends with the count of Monte Cristo who is a blue space vampire zombie after an opera where that French aristocrats enjoyed Mardi Gras carnival on the back of the moon, with bandits. Theres more to it that that but its all I could fit in one sentence. With just enough ecchi combined with awesome character designs (based on whats been presented lately) buyers have snapped up this company's idea and brought it out on $25 starting. Word of warning, don't drink before you watch Gankutsuou, your brains will fall from your ears if you do. (insiders joke har har har) I hope I can get clothes like that in the future too.

"Is dat sum rosen maiden interstellar 55555"

“My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.”