NHK falls and Black Lagoon returns with balls

A Word From Some Jabroni

So there's a live-action of Mushishi playing at the Venice film festival around now. That kinda came out of the blue. Hopefully they haven't screwed it up with bad CGI or some emo looking teen idol playing Ginko-san.

Speaking of that, I saw Basilisk's live-action movie the other day; "Shinobi: Heart Under Bore." As you may tell from my witty play of words, I was fond of it none too much. And it's not because Basilisk: The Anime was so awesome, it was just because it clearly sucked ass.

The fighting was zzzz, and the drama was too poorly staged to allow for the copious amounts of overacting (I can handle melodrama but this felt way off). And the casting—oh, the casting!

Gennosuke just came off as an emo crybaby punk who should be updating his myspace instead of fighting ninjas. And Yukie Nakama; I love you as Yankumi, but you were quite awful as Oboro-dono. Save the cartoon expressions for Gokusen season 3.

But forget that. Onto the stocks. Black Lagoon is back bitches!

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR 13

This was a truly piss poor week for Air Gear. It was truly embarressing. Story was weak, messed up facials was at an all time high, animation was awful, and they cut more corners than a seemstress. The most insulting part of it was being slapped in the face with a wrestling match from out of nowhere that took up several minutes of screentime mid-episode.

And let me just make this clear right now:
I do not need—nor want—to see a team of AT riders in wheelchairs.

AIRG got crossbody blocked with a wicked 1 3/4 drop.

BLACK LAGOON 10

Wednesday was it's return to the index, and Black Lagoon showed it's pedigree and further widened the gap between itself and the other gold ranking stocks, with the closure of the Roberta Patrick arc. And what better way to end it than with a teary eyed reuinion between meido and Master... the bollocks!

Notes:

Rebby looked like one of the Higurashi girls this week.

Isn't there still 4 episodes left? Swimsuit and matsuri filler?

Young Balalaika looked kinda hot. It's not the scar which puts me off nowdays; it's that suit with those giant shoulder pads.

BLAGN's full point rise saw it standing tall above the competition.

BLOOD+ 36

BLDP saw a small increase as David got serious this week, and did his best Clark Kent impersonation. Haji and Saya made out much to Kai's dismay, but polling proves that Kai is a poor sack of meat that is still trying to kill vampires with guns anyway.

With a little under twenty episodes to go, consumers hope that Saya breaks out of her lame streak sooner than later, lest this turn into a case of ROD The TV where Nancy only goes into Miss Deep mode in the last 2 minutes of the series.

A 1/4 share increase keeps investors looking up optimistically for BLDP.

COYOTE RAGTIME SHOW 3

Coyote Ragtime refused to let up on the action, but it lacked punch this week, with it's bouts being incoherant and without focus. An effort of downtime was made in the middle segment, but a Don King looking preacher singing like a j-pop idol is just plain disturbing.

The biggest problem this company seems to have in front of it right now is a desperate need to get it's characters and problems across. Mister and the crew aboard Serenity lack connection with the audience; Angelica and doujikko are reduced to cameos; and despite a looming character death, the 12 sisters got only bare minimum face time. (and in regards to their conversation, I don't blame them. I've seen those Gothic Lolita outfits, and they ain't cheap)

One has to wonder what the episode count is on this, because this looks to be a classic example of the creative staff trying to get a 26 episode series into a 13 count.

Mister is eyeballing a top spot on the index, but a point drop for RAGT is not the way to go about it.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 16

Moving into a Shion arc, it looks like Higurashi is finally willing to start offering up some morsels of information that people have been waiting for; "who is Keyser Satoshi?" for one.

Still, Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni has managed to jumble itself up so royally in the last two financial quarterlys that analysts expect it to take a lot more answers until HIGU stock starts moving significantly again.

The writers are far from letting everything out the bag, but as long as it continues like this, HIGU should see more gains.

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB 16

This week was the real goods for OURAN. The drama was on form, comedy was top notch, and the twin meidos made a guest cameo also; always a recipe for success.

Notes:

Where exactly does Haruhi's hair come from for these girly scenes? Is it retractable?

Arai-kun is a young punk. Talk about pressing your luck at the end. He's lucky he didn't get it in his grill.

OURAN's 3/4 rise surprised many people this week.

MUSHISHI 20

Tuesday was a flashback to Mushishi's first day when mushi made pictures come to life and animation budgets break a sweat. This time it was not a young boy, but a woman who had the 9-tails demon fox sealed within her body could catch text out of thin air like Mr Miyagi.

The difference was clear between the episodes though, because Ginko loves the ladies and instead moved into full pimp mode, wearing a turtleneck sweater like Shaft.

The writing was on the wall (face) for MUSHi which saw a 1/4 rise in it's floor price.

PANI PONI DASH 26 (HECHOI)

The premiere otaku comedy wrapped up business after an extended release period this Thursday, and the exchange said it's goodbyes to Becky-sensei, twins, and the rest of the school in an episode that was complete and utter fluff, but also a somewhat fitting send off too.

PPD was an interesting stock to track, because while it didn't get out to a terrible start, it's first episodes couldn't be considered good either. It continued to stumble as they poured more and more characters into the soup, until it had probably had the largest active roster of the year.

But then, before investors knew it, Pani Poni Dash! and it's purposely cliched characters had managed to win them over, despite an overreliance on gags referential to fandom that is 97% off our radar.

A large part of this was due to the great character performance of the baka Himeko, depressed rabbit Mesousa, and one of the best fringe female characters this season; a-typical class president, Ichijou-san. This troupe ended up being PPD's three main comedy anchors.

It's recently been licenced, so those who missed their product offering will get a second chance on DVD. Hopefully for ADV's sake, the first bunch of episodes play better than they did the first time around.

PPD proved that comedy is not always as easy as clicking your fingers, but the results do come to those who persevere.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 7

Regardless of cosplay service, RZNT stocks faltered slightly this week as a number of serious questions were raised with investors.

Among them:

How did Suigintou get reduced to a walk-on extra after such fanfare was made to her return last week?

Is the increase of low detail SD a case of saving money for an upcoming closed space or concert scene, or is it just a case of being cheap for cheap's sake?

How can the most inept doll of the bunch also have the best weapon?

How did Suigintou manage to turn Shinku into such a pussy?

What is with all the bishis in that doll shop anyway? They planning on starting a host club up in here?

Kanaria ph34red the 1/4 point fall in RZNT's hot streak.

WELCOME TO THE NHK! 2

It's no secret by now that NHK is taking a less humorous tact than it's manga counterpart and on Friday it took a hit because of this very fact.

Which is not to say that the product being offered is subpar, but it is in no way destination viewing and many are already finding that a concious effort needs to be made to put aside time to watch NHK ni Youkoso! each week.

Analysts predict that added eroge will see stocks pick up next week.

Investors hope they chose the right path after they watched NHK take a 2 3/4 dive.

XXXHOLIC 13

XHOLC stock rose as Himawari's arms grew to orangutan proportions. This Tuesday the supernatural company delivered one of it's best tales since Spooky Monkey Paw, and the return of the pipe fox ensured it's success with investors.

XHOLC took flight with a single point increase.

Editorial: Yaoi redux plus some original artwork

Don't be jealous Behoimi, it's just fantasy.

A little over 24 hours ago I made a post questioning the world-wide epidemic of yaoi and it's exact mechanisms.

During this time some have accused me of either a) hating gay people or b) being a closeted yaoi lover myself. The first notion is just ridiculous; my Mother is a homosexual man, and to hate gay people would be to hate the person who gave birth to me. And the second is just not possible, as it's already been made clear that Crayotic Rockwell is much of manly.

Yesterday, I changed a spare tire on a truck.

But with that out the way, I did decide to take stock and look at how these people may have come to the conclusion... and I realized that I do a lot of gay humour on this site (and I mean gay, not ghey. Although the last one is up to user discretion).

So I want to take this time to apologise for all the humor poking fun at people's sexual orientation.

Because I should be mixing it up with racial gags too.

Comic Sans is an awful awful font...

I did these back in Summer of '65, after I got my first real six-string '05 after I got my drawing tablet and actually did productive things with my time other than pointless recaps for an anime blog. I figured I could make a regular thing out of it and be famous on the interweb like all those other chumps that get huge fan followings from barely amusing strips.

I lasted about 2 or 3 weeks I think. But still, it was something.

"Maho?" Hard to believe Pani Poni Dash! was running way back then.

Hung will probably hate me for this post, but Blogger doesn't have catergories to define this off-topic so what can ya do? :) I guess I can try to make it anime/blogger related in the wrap up, and reflect upon the state of the yaoi and what I now know, one day later.

Well, I now know that men prefer to watch The L Word than fat lesbians with crewcuts making out, and that yaoi is made "for women by women." Just like those shitty Jennifer Lopez movies, albeit with knobs.

Yaoi still remains a facinating phenomena to me in that sense. And I'd get a real giggle out of it becoming as mainstream as mediocre romantic comedy films. This is something we should all be pushing for, I think.

A question is still left though: would FYGs (a sighting of at least one has been made) get into live-action yaoi (or for a better term: "gay porno flicks") if it was made with their sensibilities in mind? You tell me.

Editorial: Yaoi. For fag hags or just fat fangirls?

I do believe I'll steal Hung's gimmick.

This yaoi revolution is an alien thing to me. One, because I don't much find myself thirsting for other manpenix, and two, because it hasn't really been probed that throroughly (job for the animenano podcast perhaps?).

Y'see, I've got quite literally millions of friends. Some male. Mostly female (because I am much of a macho guy). Now the dudes, they like to see chicks making out—I get that. But the girls? Can't say any of them have expressed interest in seeing men grope each other in funny places. Many actually seem to abhor it.

and I one up you a Rokugo, good sir.

So I'm curious, do FYGs dig all kinds of homoerotic male sex? For instance, is Brokeback Mountain considered "kakoii sugoii Pocky!~" or does it only apply when the participants of said gaysex0r are thinly drawn bishounen with large eyes and angular chins to split coconuts on? Do roses and cherry blossum leaves in the background make a difference?

The other question I have is yaoi actually developed for gay people in mind? Is there a bunch of burly gay men buying yaoi to read on the subway, or is it the Fat Yaoi Fangirls striking once again?

I believe these questions need to be answered for the good of the community. If you are a fat yaoi fangirl, fag hag, or hard gay, we want to hear from you.

Even in sickness, a weekly update is inevitable

A Word From Some Jabroni

I wish I could tell you that this week is the most hilarious and bodacious stock exchange report you'd have read. But that would be a huge lie.

I've been sick for most of the week, so not only has this meant only the most simple efforts to get this post up and running, it also means that I've watched far fewer shows than I normally would have (although my bandwidth is owned so I'm not even sure how true this is).

Anyway, enough dilly dalying. I gotta blow my sinuses clear across the room.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR 12

Is that character development I smell? Holy crap, it is! Air Gear rocked the nation with this break from tradition, as Ikki's team with the big freakin name won their first Parts War battle.

Including the aforementioned development, AIRG saw a small bump in price with other contributing factors being fanservice, a broad who looks like Kuukaku cross bred with Yoruichi, and more Agito/Akito than you can shake a stick at.

Everyone was happy to a 1/2 gain for AIRG.

BLOOD+ 35

"BEECKYYY!! H-Hey, Himeko!" Pani Poni Dash! nostalga via hot seiyuu-swapping action and Marvel comic references couldn't save BLDP from dropping in the exchange, after what was largely 5 minutes worth of events happening in a 22 minute pocket. Investors expect it to pick up in the following weeks.

What's with this "stealing Riku's face" shit? Does he hold personal copyright on that hairstyle or something?

BLDP cracked under the pressure and dropped 1/2 this week.

COYOTE RAGTIME SHOW 2

Those who thought Coyote Ragtime may have shot it's animation wad in the first episode came out surprised when their sophmore week delivered another strong bout of BEEG ACTIONZ.

It was an entertaining show leading to a solid rise, but they broke a cardinal rule of the ASX: "Don't sell when noone's buying." Many companies make the mistake of getting too emo too soon, and Coyote Ragtime was no exception, giving us many moments of wrought melodrama before any consumers have had a chance to properly bond with the characters.

Notes:

I thought the OP would be a little more impressive than it was. It does make me feel as though we'll be treated to some non-action centric episodes though. Don't let a brotherman down!

Favourite sister so far? The Grenaloli! (AKA "October" AKA "The Wobbly Loli") I think it's the hat.

Episode was really cram packed.. perhaps a little too busy actually. However, it did help to take the sting from the premature emo-ulation. So consider it a tie.

They need to have three claymation EDs. One for the Coyotes. Another for Angelina and Titz. And another for the 12 merchandise killers. Agreed?

Me likey Angelina's lip flaps. "She got DSLs." - Apathy

Monkey bartender? BEST SHOW EVAH MADE!~

RAGT far from held the exchange to gunpoint, but it did make a nice 1 1/2 point gain.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 15

Stocks dropped on Thursday for the alleged killerloli corporation. While it was pleasing to see the timelines vaguely connected together, the overall product is suffering from a loss of direction and tone as the fiscal year continues. Analysts expect these issues to lift as answers are more forthcoming, but for now investors can expect a bumpy ride.

HIGU took a 1 point fall down the proverbial stairs of blehg.

MUSHISHI 19

Quentin Tarantino got a taste of his own medicine this week when Japan ripped him for a change. While MUSHI stock held strong, some were bemused with Mushishi's production this week.

One investor who wishes to remain anonymous said:

"This is set around the Edo period, right? We got people livin' in wooden huts and wearing straw hats... and bitch got herself a layered rack of hair! Japan got themselves some wicked stylists back in the 1800's no doubt kid!"

Mushishi doesn't just do MILFs, it does Lolis too.

MUTEKI KANBAN MUSUME 2

Another week, and already another rival has joined the cast in the fight against the shark-like Miki. MTEKI saw positive gains coming off a solid outlay of comedy with a number of abstract—but well appreciated—visual gags (eg. the recycle bin to represent Kankuro's memories, or the dueling trains complete with sweatdrops), much like Ouran Highschool Host Club utelized back in it's heyday.

Sources close to Dai Mahou Touge have said that Punie-chan is absolutely livid over another anime character using submissions during the Summer season, and is considering payback by delivering noodles in her third OVA.

Despite taking a beating from various bloggers, MTEKI was one of the biggest earner this week.

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB 15

There are two things that the Ouran Highschool Host Club does exceptionally well. One being comedy, that had always been a strong force in the series, but the other had been noticably abscent of recent. All that changed when OURAN pulled out of it's stock dive and returned to making gay entertainment acceptable for fat yaoi fangirls straight men all the family.

Notes:

Beware Hikaru's penix! (and twin meidos? We don't blame you)

How great a fairytale would Ouran make if it was like this and not that weak Alice In Wonderland parody?

Mo gayness lit a fire beneath OURAN's flailing stock prices.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 6

Feeling the sting from Barasuishou's unimpressive debut, Rozen Maiden Traumend surprised everyone by placing Suigintou—long thought to have been retired in Florida—back on the board of directors. Some saw it as an about face for the company, but most applauded it as an cheap merchandising tactic a smart business decision.

It's unknown as to what capacity Suigintou and her deranged medium have signed on for, but it is to be believed that she will be taking a salary cut along with reduced duties from previous.

Notes:

No Suiseiseki this week? Booo.

Jesus Shinku, just fap each other off already!

Suigintou returned to 1/4 rise in RZNT shares.

XXXHOLIC 12

Doing nothing but writing spooky text on a wall for half the week may be one way to cut costs, but it's also another way to make people go to sleep. xxxHOLiC delivered a strong finish, but it was unable to make up for the other 21 minutes investors lost on it.

No wonder Yuuko's always laying down. Those cow udders are ridiculous!

More spookiness like this may have saved XHOLC from a 1/4 drop.

ZERO NO TSUKAIMA 2

Analysts like where it's heading, but not without concern. Read the latest ASX feature, Crayotic Knows Everything: Zero no Tsukaima for more indepth coverage.

A 2 point gain for ZEKAI proved that bondage is rad.

Editorial: The trappings of anime AKA Why I don't like Honey & Clover

Above: A scene you may see frequently in anime. Less so in "Gilmore Girls."

Magicks. Girls with guns. Lands, planets, and times that bear no resemblance to my own. Guys falling over and accidentally touching boob, immediately getting punched into outer-space by a tsunderekko. Fight scenes that take over ten episodes and three flashbacks to resolve. Gut-wrenching melodrama. A reality far removed from this world.

That's what I love.

Y'see, I like my anime BIG. Big action. Huge breasts. Epic tales that span the years. Giant facial contortions. Overwhelming slapstick. Humungous tenticles which may or may not be an analogy for cock. All that stuff; these are the reasons I watch those Japanese cartoons.

But don't mistake me for an ignorant heathen. No no. Because The Rockwell enjoys many a slow-paced, nuanced, simple series grounded in reality.

Just not in anime.

ASX Rating: Zzzzz/10

Let's take Honey & Clover for example. On page it's a pretty decent concept. The characters are likable, with depth, and some even have gimmicks. The dynamics work well. The stories are good. There's laughs and tears. Yet this is the series that ended up costing me a wristwatch, after my constant checking of the time while watching H&C wound up staring a hole straight through it.

But if this was live action? I think then there would be a pretty good chance I'd have the overpriced boxset sitting on my shelf right now.

So what's the missing ingredient? Real actors. This is the key to captivating an audience and holding them in place when you're selling a story that lacks killerlolis or giant mecha.

I don't care how awesome your seiyuu lineup may be; with a director short of God-like and an average animation budget it's just not possible to duplicate the same quality of layered performance that a living, breathing actor of good calibre will give you.

Aliens with rock guitars and robots bursting from a prepubescent teen's forehead? Anime is your go-to guy—no fucking question. Reality and subtlety? Not exactly animation's strong point. I'd go so far to say that it is it's weakness.

Is this to say that you are sucxkz if you prefer Beck to Magikano? Yes. No. So what am I saying? Not entirely sure myself. Perhaps I'm just saying that unfortunately anime isn't an all-in-one magic food processor, and sometimes you gotta hit up other forms of entertainment media for your fix.

Oh, and don't feel ostracized if you didn't like H&C. We can be pals.

ASX Rating: WIN/10

Crayotic Knows Everything: Zero no Tsukaima

Okay, so far I've watched two episodes of Zero no Tsukaima so I feel as though I'm a pretty top authority regarding it's future. And here's how I'm envisioning it to play out if they're smart: this series is to be an epic tale of one black man and how he finally breaks free from his white opressors. All in 26 injustice triumphing packed episodes of freedom.

"Saito" ain't pickin' no cotton no mo!

That's it's only chance for success in this industry. If ZEKAI tries to work some weak angle about Saito's awesome runescape powers and saving the land from destruction whilst focusing on his budding slave/mas'a forbidden romance, that finally builds up to him having to make the choice between returning to Earth or staying here to clean Louise's pantsu it's going to fail and wind up purely mediocre. Oh, I'm willing to make book on that.

But if Zero no Tsukaima becomes the anime verion of Roots? Then it's money from here on out baby.

Heed my warnings Whoever-it-is-who-is-making-this-show-again, for my baseless predictions are truth!

Expect many ignorant crackers to be overcome in the perfect version of ZEKAI.

New series surprise the market. But are they the good or bad kind?

A Word From Some Jabroni

I'm running behind on this week's post and I really want to get it finished so I can go and do something that's not watching stuff on my computer (weekend seems to be the only time for this), so this word isn't going to be very long (nor checked properly for errors).

I dunno why, but Kanaria from Rozen Maiden Traumend had me laughing pretty hard this week. She's still nowhere near the awesomeness of Suiseiseki, but it's nice to have a ridiculously lameass character in a harem. I think the added dynamic is starting to make sense now...

Speaking of Harems, I finally picked up the Love Hina manga this week. I didn't know which publisher to go with so I got both, and Tokyopop's version beats out Chuang Yi's hands down. I guess this was before CY got it's shit together and pwned Del Rey in Negima.

And in other news, Liz Phair - "Somebody's Miracle" is a pretty sweet album.. None of the tracks really stand out at first glance like on say, "Whipsmart", but at least the production is removed from her last pop effort.

And that's me done.. let's get into the market!

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR 11

Air Gear had less focus than a gonzo porn feature shot by Mr Magoo this week. They began with a continued push from their newly established yaoi department (although many are quick to point out that that is no whip, pretend as they might), and from there just kind of meandered about for the rest of it's trading.

Luckily Air Gear is such cheap tat anyway that it's stock prices weren't largely affected by such a lack in direction for the interim.

And you can have all the scars in the world, but if you have braces it kind of ruins the effect, no?

AIRG dropped 1/4 but most expect it to pick back up.

BLOOD+ 34

Finally Saya v.2 arrived after months of breathless waiting, and... goes aenemic after blading twice?! Aside from that, it was a pleasant surprise to see Saya sporting a different haircut, fashion sense; a new tsuntsun personality, and possibly, even bigger lips than before?

All became moot as otaku chiroptera invaded the house to roll about in Sayas pantsu, leading up to the most climatic battle in the series so far.

Notes:

Julia thinks she may not have made the best decision. What possibly could have prompted this?

Saya may think she's hot shit on toast, but she is still no match for Old Coot Powers!

BLDP leaped a 1/4 point clearing the banister, but still a far way off from the top tier of stocks.

COYOTE RAGTIME SHOW 1 (ADJUST)

Initial stock prices were shown as being off for Coyote Ragtime which went public at 12:20AM, Monday. Reasons for it's original low offer perhaps being that analysts bought into the whole "this will be like Cowboy Bebop" smear campaign put out by people in the tabloid media.

While Cowboy Bebop was entertaining in it's episodic, artfag way; Coyote Ragtime, from it's pilot episode, proves to be just damn FUN. Early scouting due to the ufotable name was a smart play as this delivered all the craziness, little touches (check how the grenaloli had strings already attached to the grenades, or Angelica walking about with food sticking from her mouth), and purty animation, as was evidenced in Futakoi Alternative (heck, they even plagurized the opening credits).

Twelve sisters? (9 pictured here) Not so keen on them being cyborgs or all having similar combat attire, but this kind of specialist comprised team is exactly what the ASX marks for, regardless of what other grumpy poohs blog journalists may say. Say, wasn't she in Final Fantasy X-2? And what the hell is Wendy Garret doing in this?

One stockbroker had this to say: "I can't be sure, but I think the first [episode] wasn't even from the main protagonists viewpoint;" a notion which if true, is sure to impress investors. He later added, "is that little girl Angelica? Coz she sure filled out."

Investors are currently pleased with Coyote Ragtime's first trading day, and expect some good things from them in the future. However, while their success in pulling off the big moments and personalities seems garuanteed from ufotable, whether or not they are able to deliver the same quality of pathos and storytelling achieved previously in FutaAlt will determin just how high this series can truly rise.

RAGT surprised everyone by blowing away their pre-offer expectations.

DAI MAHOU TOUGE 3-4

Fans of MMA were tickled pink when Dai Mahou Touge made a return to the exchange with it's latest OVA.

For the first half of the week, reception to it's product was split; divided between those who get a kick out of seeing magical girls shoot-fight and pulling off wrestling moves and the ignorant masses which don't. However, it's later week product was applauded across the board because you're all goddamn lolicons with Paya-tan bondage and Punie vs. God levels increased on all fronts.

Average kid on the computer had this to say:

"The fight between Punie and Hole Digger Eli was kewl!! It wasn't that dynamic to look at, but it's the best choreographed and technical fight put down to anime that I've seen for a million years!!

Holy smokes!! Someone has to make an avatar of those lolis getting spanked for true lolz!! LISP FTW!!"

DAIMA's stiff 3 point gain was no bit of fakery.

GUN X SWORD 23

Vann got jiggy with a satelite, and the suckers left back on that crappy planet moved into endgame, squaring off against Fasarina's forces of red-shirts (techincally green-armours). Excitement levels were up and Ray being thrown back into the mix of things helped insured that GXS came out with gains this week.

Notes:

Arrgh, and I made such efforts to avoid Mech-Fighting-In-Space shit. I can't believe they managed to slip this in on me!

Poor Carmen. Her feud with Fasarina keeps getting put on ice.

Fantasy Booking: Ray gets taken out, but manages to damage Fasarina's mech beyond repair in the process. Which allows Carmen to go womano a womano against Miss hooker extrordinaire.

A 1/4 rise had everyone feeling a job well done for the constantly shaky security.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 14

It's main star was MIA this week, but Higurashi managed to quickly enlist a replacement that did a pretty killer Keiichi impersonation for the meantime. Analysts expect these meticulous efforts to pay off as Akasaka-san gets pwned in the following chapters.

Friday offered an ultra cute, no-crows-picking-her-rotting-flesh version of Rika-chan, but it wasn't enough to steady investors confidence in HIGU stock, who are becoming increasingly concerned about how long the series plans to chase it's own tail.

News of HIGU's stock drop was not well received from the villiage elders.

KASHIMASHI 12 (DELIST)

That's the ending? FUCK YOU.

9 out of 10 little kids think the ending to Kashimashi sucked.

KASHIMASHI 12 (DELIST/REAL)

Okay, let's see... after getting that frustration out the way, here's the real recap.

To summerize Kashimashi:

Tomari and Yasuna love Hazumu.

Tomari is Hazumu's best friend; they have fun and care deeply for each other, and Hazumu promised to marry her years ago.

Yasuna, she has emotional problems because she is lame.

Kashimashi wasn't a terrible stock. It pretty much delivered to the best of it's capabilities, but that ending blew. Even Ayuki couldn't save it. End of summary.

Replace the finale episode and what they're saying may not be deemed false advertising.

MUSHISHI 18

Mushishi put paint to canvas and constructed another great episode, this time about a weed smoking mountain. It was a rocky road though, as one stray artistic choice raised issues of plaguerism among corporate journalists. All was forgiven in the end however, after Mushishi incorporated a tasteful homage to Kevin Smith stylings within it's classy product.

Mushishi continues to deliver pretty scenary and a solid share price.

MUTEKI KANBAN MUSUME GOES PUBLIC

It's no debate that family violence has been portrayed in a negative light in most forms of media nowdays, but thankfully Muteki Kanban Musume looks set to remedy this when the invincible poster girl called investors to the new company on Tuesday.

With very little said about this during the spring previews and a it's premise leaving a lackadaisicle impression, analysts peg MTEKI to be the sleeper hit secrurity on the ASX for Winter with it's hyper-genki/baka characters, ricockulous comedy, and MSN crossovers.

Those worried that the lack of wacky facial contortions in NHK will bring this season's overall quality down need not fear, as Muteki Kanban Musumi has stated that this is a high priority on their agenda.

MTEKI opened at 40.00 with analysts predicting a peak price of 48.00 for the comedy stock.

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB 14

OURAN faltered again this week. While the CEO's impersonation of a dog was clearly a comedy highpoint for the stockmarket in general this week, the host club failed to bring it's overall content back up to the benchmark level set by itself in it's first two financial quarterlies.

No matter what they tried, OURAN refused to perform this week, dropping 1/2 of a point.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 5

Business researchers are constantly impressed with just how much content Rozen Maiden manages to fit into each week. The episode was all Hinaichigo's, but everyone else got their own little moments to shine also.

Shinku revealed that her love of Kun-kun is only exceeded by her fear of cats. Suiseiseki dealt with her jealousy of Jun and Shinku (who is like a mini-me of Jun at this stage). Hinaichigo ventured out into the unknown to post a letter, while Souseiseki tried to out-bland a piece of wood.

And Kanaria is starting to grow on us—not only does she allow us access to hotter meganeko than previously allowed, her latest actions reminded us of a smaller Yotsuba (break yo self foo!).

RZNT stood high atop most of the market and doesn't show any signs of faltering.

TSUYOKISS 1 (ADJUST)

Overshooting the mark with it's pre-offer, TSUYO took a bigger hit than Bobby Brown on Whitney when it went public this Monday. Tsundere was low, animatography was drab, and oh hell naw... tell me you di'int just reuse footage from the opening credits!

Actually, the most impressive stunt Tsuyokiss pulled off in it's first day of business was the sheer number of employees it introduced to the public.

After initial analysis, even with the story not yet being set on any forward path, experts don't expect to see Tsuyokiss shaking up the harem industry like it was once predicted, save for the wildcard of a Mai HiME like reprieve.

They do however sense that investors haven't yet seen the best of what the company has to offer, and sense that there is likely some hidden gold to be mined. Early predictions for hot money is Coconut Nagomi, Kanisawa Kinu, and more Yoppi x Kiriya Erika HLA.

TSUYO cracked under the weight of it's own hype within it's first hours of business.

XXXHOLIC 11

Tuesday saw the largest amount of action yet as xxxHOLiC blew 90% of their budget on a remake that was two parts Flight Of the Mokona and one part Teenage Mutent Surfer Midgets.

Notes:

So is Himiwari out and vestal sprites in? Investors certainly hope so.

Once again, Yuuko's omega playfulness was a major factor in XHOLC's steady gains.

XHOLC's 1/2 point rise wasn't anything amazing, but investors ate it up regardless.

WELCOME TO THE NHK! 1 (ADJUST)

Tsuyokiss managed to garner the award for biggest disapointment this week, making many a grown man cry in their boots. At the other end of the spectrum was NHK ni Youkoso! which made a huge leap from it's preoffer price.

NHK proved itself to be far classier than expected, and should be a smart investment for those who enjoy quirky introspective character pieces and pudding.

Special mention must be made of the usage of music. Already it's looking like Welcome to the NHK! is shaping up to have the best soundtrack of the season by a long shot.

GONZO shocked everyone by delivering an impressive first week with NHK.

ZERO NO TSUKAIMA GOES PUBLIC

If you couldn't get enough of Shakugan no Tsukaima a couple of seasons ago, then Zero no Shana may be the perfect security for you. While the premise is completely different (or is it, really?), the character roster feels pretty similar, designs are of the same ilk, and the lead tsundere is voiced by the same actress.

Not to say that these are bad foundations for a company looking to deliver disposable entertainment on a weekly basis. But they're not exactly deal makers, either.

Analysts are indicating Miss Longueville's S&M club, Hiraga Saito's uppity slavery defiance, Louise's zero success/exploding things gimmick, and see-through teddies as early picks for things to keep an eye on when considering the future of ZEKAI stocks.

ZEKAI opened at 30.00, ruffling the hair of many who expected it rock the index.

Blog Spotlight! Tainted Blog

The Anime Stock Exchange is a too much awesome website, and hats off for you reading it. However, we realize that sometimes one may need to see other people when we're too busy to pleasure you. This where the Blog Spotlight feature comes in. We'll tell you what's hot out there (in an ASX fallback kinda way, mind) so you don't have to think.

Note: Those greedy fat cats over at Basugasubakuhatsu, Riuva, あいとゆうきのおとぎばなし, and the like are excluded from pickings. They're already livin' large, and don't need any added exposure to fund their torrid Jew-Baby Eating habits (especially tjhan, that dude is racial).

Indi blog scene baby, YEEAAAH RAWK!

Tainted Blog

Summary, Taken from Website:

A blog chock-full of frivolous commentaries and sequential art related stupidity. This blog is maintained by Ashley, a self-proclaimed humorist and all around ne'er-do-well.

The bullet points

Stuff which is like, really good:

+ Funny for a girl Funnier than most anime blogs out there.
+ Anyone who photoshops screencaps is awesome (example: me)
+ Simply reading her articles will fufill your quota of daily female interaction.
+ There are snakes on a blog.
+ She personally began the the new wave revival of FYG related posts with this rant.

Stuff which is like, not as good:

- Opinions mainly deal with episode recaps, so if she's blogging some crap series that is off your radar you might be lost.
- Not enough/any screencaps of hawt boobs (or even those of mediocre disposition).
- Front page is longer than watching Huo shao hong lian si capped off with Paul Thomas Anderson's extended cut of Magnolia.

Q: I guess the first thing on everybody's minds is: "what is the best kind of spread out there?"

A: Butter. Not just any butter, mind you, but the kind that’s been scraped from the back of a county-fair pig who’s just had himself a nice buttermilk bath and a scholarly discussion on mortality with a spider.

Q: Why anime? Why not knitting, crochet, or smoking the pot like most young adults of today's future?

A: Well, I reached a point where I got sick of knitting tea cozies for all of my water bongs and Colt 45 bottles. I thought: “Hell, there are better and more productive ways to spend my time... like watching cartoons.”

Tainted Blog knows meat.

Q: What video games you been playing lately?

A: Ok this is going to get ugly, but my backlog thus far includes Zelda: Minish Cap, Genji: Dawn of the Samurai, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, Final Fantasy X, Phantom Brave, Devil May Cry 1, and Shadow Hearts From the New World. I’ve only really been playing Shadow Hearts and Phantom Brave, everything else has either pissed me off in some way or I’ve reached a good stopping point or something like that.

Q: What do you make of Feng Shui?

A: I haven’t got all of the logistics worked out, but I’m going to try stacking a pile of random crap in the northwest corner of my room to see if money rains down from the sky. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to get a bunch of mirrors and get some good chi going up in here and then put some dirty clothes on my ceiling fan to see if that brings me success in all of my endeavors.

The answer is on the website, but it's not easy to find.

Q: Most interesting thing you did in the last 7 days...?

A: Interesting? Nothing really. The mundane and mediocre are more of my forte.

Q: Favourite series?

A: Hm, no particular show comes to mind. I suppose I can say Excel Saga. At times, Excel and co. are really grating and abrasive, and some of the running gags and jokes get really old. But honestly, when it’s on, it’s on. There was a whole episode devoted to a guy in ass-less chaps. That is quality programming, my friend.

Q: The other night I had a dream that I was dating Veronica Mars. Her ex-bf, Logan was bothering us so she stole all his clothes and we laughed. She then turned into an eggplant. How would you interpret this?

A: The character Veronica Mars is merely a projection of your own inquisitive nature and your desire to get in touch with your dormant, feminine side. The fact that you were acting out against her ex clearly shows how you long to break free from the cycle of oppression your own gender may subject you to. The eggplant illustrates how strongly you feel about the plight of starving third-world children. In short, you really shouldn’t do Window Pane and Mountain Dew after 6 PM.

An example of the kind of sophisticated humor to be found around The Taint.

Q: Any guilty pleasures?

A: The Gundam franchise has never really done it for me. It’s kind of a “same shit, different day” deal. But, I love G Gundam. It is touted as the worst iteration of the series, but it also happens to be the only one I can stomach. It’s hokey, over the top, and it has a Gundam shaped like a lumberjack.

I also like Love Hina. My grandma and I make a book-run every month or so-she buys her smutty novels and she buys me my smutty graphic novels (shut up, I turn 18 soon, I have to milk this first grandchild bit for all it’s worth before the umbilical cord is cruelly snipped). ANYWAY, I remember making her buy them for me, which always made for good times. I’d sheepishly hand her a book and walk away. Then, I’d occasionally glance back and be all “Look at that old lady buying comics with half-naked girls on the cover, ahaha .”

Finally, I love gangster rap. Sure, I enjoy the poetic stylings of Saul Williams and Aesop Rock, but it’s the “bitchez and ho’z” stupidity that holds a special place in my heart. One day I’m going to ride through the 9th Ward blasting N.W.A. and see how many times I get shot at. If I get over 10, I’m going to treat myself to a DQ Blizzard.

Ashley and all her photoshopped goodness can be found via this link. Be sure to let her know if you're single and available.

Hidden Secrets Of The ASX...

It's recently come to my attention that not everyone is making the most of this glorious website. Obviously you want to get to my juicy text as soon as possible—and this I respect—but to not savour everything I have to offer? Well, it's like getting a black forest gâteau, eating the cherry, and tossing the rest in the bin to go eat some Cheetos.

So let's get this all sorted once and for all, so I don't feel like I'm wasting my time every week on this blog (oh pity my melancholy ways).

The secrets are not hidden inside the melon-pan Shana-tan!

1) The News Ticker. Located at the top of the page is a little scrolling box full of text that quickly shows all the latest stock prices. You may think this is just a visual piece of fluff, and you'd be largely right, but it also has a links to interesting news items that will appeal to you (me).

Most of you will have seen them already, since I just steal them from other blogs and ANN (I'm not reading real news reports), but for those who are tardy by nature (and by tardy I mean "late", not 'tardy which is politically incorrect to mentals) and don't keep up the latest offerings, or those who are awesome by nature and only subscribe to my blog, then this weekly round up of news items may be of help to you.

2) Screencaps. Now by no means are all my caps comedy gold (some of them are just regular caps of course), but if you do go to the bother of clicking on the links you may find a nice photoshopped surprise every now and then.. at least if you share the same sense of humour as me (think, lame). If you don't read the site with a webbrowser that caches the page, this may be troublesome though.

3. The Ol Acronym Tag. If you find a word dotted underneath like the following piece of text, you can hold your mouse over it and it'll give you some extra text. Sometimes it's for definitions, sometimes it's for just extra snide comments, but whatever the usage, think of it like a pot of mystery treasure. What's inside it? Is it pirates booty, or is it a potato? You'll never know!

This post may sound like desperate clamboring, but y'know what? I needed an excuse to post this image in the midst of all the NHK talk.

THE FOURTH SECRET OF THE ASX:

That is NHK right? Ah who cares, I gotta get me one, coz that guy is so totally getting laid.

Spring cleaning AKA "Git yer anime orffa ma land!"

A Word From Some Jabroni

Wow, a whole bunch of stocks dissapeared from the index this week. For one it was a bittersweet farewell, but for the rest..? Ehh, not a whole lot of complaints (go read the weekly recap for more details).

I wish I could sit back and enjoy this newfound spare time, but according to Baka-updates I already have the replacements for these four all lined up and rearing to go. *sigh* It ain't easy playing the market like such a man.

The other big news this week of course is all the AAT (someone wanna explain to me what this means btw? I can get the AA bit.. but what of the T?) anime/manga licencing going on:

One of the licencees may or may not be this series.

Black Lagoon was announced. Speedy, but not much of a surprise considering how awesome it is.

Some oldschool mecha show called Gunfluffer or something got relicenced. I'm sure I won't be buying it, but lots of other people are happy.

And the big shock is Pani Poni Dash! getting picked up by ADV for licence of the year. Not the first title I would have guessed. In fact, you may as well licence My Ballsac and get Crispin Freeman to voice the dubtrack for all the mainstream appeal PPD! has.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for being able to own Pani Poni on DVD (better make sure you have some kickass covers though), but it really makes me beg the question: you'll press Rebecca Miyamoto and pals to disc, but we're still waiting for a Rozen Maiden release, whatsupwitdat?

Oh yeh, they're making Ichigo Mashimaro OVAs. Kick ass!

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR 10

Christmas came early this Saturday for yaoi fans as Air Gear branched out into the promiscuous world of B&D and public toilet handjobs. Agito was the major thrusting force behind this new company movement, and investors found themselves clamboring to grab a piece of this action faster than Ton-chan selling out her students.

Agito chuu'ed AIRG into a full 2 point jump.

BLOOD+ 33

Blood+ discovered that it's easier to just magically make Kai omega tuff than show him progressively become less of a wimp when they skipped forward several years (presumably) during their time away from the exchange. BLDP stock price rose significantly with Dark Julia, and it's new epic feel, which was less planned than it was a given considering the timelapse.

Oh Blood+, your blinding wit kills me.

Analysts were wondering where Riku was, until they remembered that he was written out. They're still uncertain if this was a genius or stupid move, given the unrealised potential yet sheer ballsiness of the descision.

David-san used his BLDP bonus bonds to go on a crazy bender during Blood+'s hiatus.

ERGO PROXY 14

Ergo Proxy put forth it's best episode yet, by setting it's distribution somewhere other than a crappy, barren plain of dirt for once. A weak ending threatened to weigh it down, but an abundance of Pino offset such problems, allowing the stock to come through in the green.

Real Mayer can't afford to sleep if she wants to keep EPROX's trade on a roll.

GUN X SWORD 22

Endless Illusion's favourite company should have failed huge on Thursday. After all, there was no action or progression of plot; just a whole bunch of team building exercises.

It should have failed.

But somehow it was exactly what the doctor ordered, and investors were happy to have this downtime and enjoy seeing everyone kick back with a brewskie. Hell, we were even okay with Gun X Sword phoning in a lazy cliched segment where the gang builds a go-cart.

This newfound dynamic between employees gave GSX a positive boost, but analysts are skeptical of how this price will hold for the company's final weeks to come.

The meat may not have agreed with Carmen, but GSX agreed with investors this week.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 13

Holy crap, Keiichi is Goku! At least that's what it first appeared as, until people realized that Goku has a better poker face and wouldn't run around telling everyone he unsuccessfully tried to kill their relatives.

This week finally bucked the trend and explained everything in large doses of nothing. But despite the fact that Higurashi now has more unofficial theories than 9/11, HIGU failed to maintain it's price after pulling out such a cheaply convoluted chain of events to set him up for Rika's murder.

The ASX appreciates a man who's willing to take off his shoes when coming into your house to kill you.

HIGU got murdered by HRHI on the charts this week. Will they taste a ressurection in seven days?

HIMAWARI! (DELIST)

After months of inactivity, the female ninja school drama skulked back into the dark of the night; to the dismay of very few, as HWARI saw a large adjust to the red in it's very moments on the exchange.

Himawari! could never have hoped to break new barriers or play amongst the top tier, but investors did consider it to have promise. This promise was never shook upon, and instead the series made sure to deliver the most miscast/irritating seiyuu lineup of the season—a fatal flaw which they never recovered from.

As we flip it off goodbye, we try to think of some nice things to say but find ourselves drawing a blank. At the end of the day Himawari had the makings, but seemed content to dish out mediocre character pieces with unappealing characters, and the market responded acordingly.

Himawari! doesn't even deserve it's own screencap.

KASHIMASHI 11

KASHI was the stock to buy anyone who wanted some emo with their hot sauce. For the rest of us who found Kashimashi at their best when hitting the comedy, it was a mixed bag. Also adding to this security's instability is the fact that investors were never quite sold on Yasuna in the first place, and now it looks like everyone is just pussing out.

Thank god for Ayuki finally stepping forward and putting everyone in their place though! Now we just need her to convince Yasuna and Tomari to forget Hazumu and make with the HLA.

KASHI dropped 1/4 and Tomari got no hot lovin' on this weeks exchange.

MAGICAL POKAN 12 (DELIST)

Uma's magic spells actually worked for once, which could only signal one thing; Tuesday was the final day for Magical Pokan's projected business strategy.

Their history on the exchange was that of a simple show that offered lots of episodic fanservice and was easy to digest. Time didn't favour this format however, and POKAN quickly lost momentum and started a slide backwards as their already truncated quarterlies flew by.

If there was one shining beacon of awesomeness Magical Pokan had going for it it would be the moe meganeko cyborg of Ai (A.I?). All her not-so-nuanced robotic traits, and weekly misfortune of weighing several tonnes enamored her with us in a way not typical of the Token Girl Who Cooks™ role.

Click for some AI lovin'.

Special note must also go out to the OP, which kicked all kinds of figurative ass. Investors can't help but wonder how much higher POKAN stock would have cashed out at if the title credits reflected the content and story of the series, instead of it's actual fluff filled nature (Buy the OP here, or you could grab the mp3 via nipponsei if you were that kind of scoundrel).

Despite some nice character quirks, Magical Pokan failed to plug itself into the exchange correctly.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 14 (DELIST)

The day many had been waiting for and many had feared occured on Thursday. The last episode of Haruhi Suzumiya hit the blocks and was the constant time jumping worth it? Thankfully, the answer was "arrgh a real killerloli!" "yes!"

Not only did it spread the action packed content between fourteen outings, so consumers didn't get the wrong idea of what to expect (many were already burned from when things went from episode 00 to 01). it allowed the season a complete storyline to begin and end on, with the filler sandwiched in the middle. Just the way it should be.

Not to say there wasn't a few missteps along the way; the largest faux-pa coming from Kyon's friend, Tamagotchi (Minus? You are a SUX by my ranking). But whatever happened, noone could deny the awesomest power of Kyon x Haruhi kissage, with Kyon spouting the best pre-smooch dialogue since Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind.

To quote a great man in regards to HRHI's market performance:

The thing to note is that in comparison to the other top series of the season, ala Ouran, Higurashi, Black Lagoon; all of those are popcorn’ish and strongly set in a genre. Not to take anything away from them, but when you’re dealing with an actioneer, sitcom, or horror/mystery they’ve got a much easier time to win a specific audience sect over.

Haruhi did something a little more different and harder to define, but it still managed to rock the house. H. Suzumiya was the HBO series of anime this season.

We do still however want to know what happened with the talking cat? Did we just imagine that during episode 00?

Despite it's title, this company had anything but a melancholic performance.

MUSHISHI 17

Forget about Telecom, TelstraClear, and AT&T, because Mushishi has the telecommunications game locked down. Ginko stepped aside this week to allow a larger budget for flashbacks; a descision praised by many who appreciate the fact that loli twins are rad.

Unlike The Third, which announced bankruptcy this week, Mushishi knows how to do narration. Milf > Incessant Prat any day.

MUSHI isolated itself from the crappy stocks with a 1/4 increase.

OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB 13

OURAN opened strong on Monday, and an Alice In Wonderland themed episode seemed destined for a home run. The Host Club gave us everything expected, Mad Hatters, dancing bunnys, bananas, twin Cheshire Nekos, Haruhi in a vase.. but for some reason the whole episode felt extremely flat, and a sharp dropoff was seen by the end of days trading.

Some would also argue that this was a perfect chance for Tamaki's ugly bear to take the spotlight. Biggest opportunity missed, ever.

Investors saw their OURAN stocks take near to a full point freefall at the week's beginning.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 4

While Rozen Maiden had been performing steadily, something was missing from it. What's that? More Suiseiseki! Omega tsundere! The Rockwell squealing like a girl! This week they listened to the fans, and were determined to give everyone exactly what I had been craving for.

Between fishing for Hinaichigos, trying to sell herself by cold-calling, locking a rear naked choke on Kanaria, and becoming power crazed after signing a contract, Suiseiseki proved to investors why this company's record-high stock performance of late depends so heavily upon her cameos.

Love her or hate her, it has to be admitted that she is the only voice of reason concerning this ridiculous Alice Game.

Suiseiseki kicked up such a fuss that RZNT was forced to make the largest gains of the week.

THE THIRD 6 (DELIST)

Shock bankruptcy hit The Third on Monday, causing investors to lose tens of dollars. It was largely expected that the dessert wandering business would not be able to sustain a full financial year, but noone expected them to cash all their chips quite so early.

When all the facts are laid out together, it's easy to see that the mind-numbing narration, Honoka x Ikus undertones, action sequences that never lived up to the only slightly above average pilot, and grating voice of Milly were all large contributors to it's detriment. But the clear turning point where consumers just threw up their hands and said "alright, fuck this!" was when Honoka started reading poetry in the middle of a battle and let her opponant live, BECAUSE OF A FLOWER.

At 5:21pm, Monday, The Third blew away like grains of sand in a storm, proving that it's initial $45 offer price was nothing more than a mirage of a better company.

The Third limped off like a wounded dog. Who cares.

XXXHOLIC 10

XHOLC continues to make minor inroads on the exchange, keeping it afloat in this dangerous season of commercial failure. Investors were sad to see the pipe fox gone, but 100% more Yuuko made certain that Watanuki couldn't stink up the screen too much.

If there's one thing that needs addressing, analysts have decided that this week all things named Himawari needed to be axed ASAP. There is great confusion as to why Watanuki is even attracted to such a black hole of personality in the first place. Some postulate that he's only managing to stave off the red string of fate he has tied to Yuuko anyway.

XHOLC's performance of recent is almost like they've risen back up from the dead.

Editorial: I'm a traffic whore

Does this picture have any relevance? Nope!

I'm of no clue how this got the jump on me, but after long, arduous hours I've finally managed to pass the magical milestone of 277 unique hits for one post in twenty-four hours. A little odd considering what a crappy affair it was, but I think this is partially due to it being July 4th, plus managing to get in before the onslaught of Honey/Clover II posts, allowing me full run of the aggregators for a while. Plus you suckers seem to click on anything.

You may not be wondering why 278 hits is such a big deal, and I'll tell you; I've had several blogs before this and they were all colossal flops. It didn't matter what I posted. It could have been an Alyssa Milano 24/7 Breastwatch and I would still have only gotten 7 views a day (and that's a literal estimate of what I was pulling btw). But ever since I sold my soul to animeblogger and the なの, people have actually been reading this tripe.

Sure, people say that it doesn't matter how many hits you get. "It's all about writing for personal satisfaction" seems to be the catchphrase. Perhaps. But if I wanted to write materal that noone read I'd keep a diary instead of Hustler under my pillow. Or ghostwrite Matt LeBlanc's autobiography.

So yay me. Now it's time to put up lots of porn banners!

Editorial: Tsundere, A Double Standard?

I've been out of action with hay-fever the last couple of days (and this is during mid-winter too. As Sarah Silverman would say: "What the cock is that shit?") so I haven't really been able to finish off any of the editorial drafts unfortunately (or perhaps for the better, when I consider them).

But a post over at animebento about Hot Gimmick's odd/undeserved popularity got me thinking. The male "lead" in this manga, Ryoki, who blackmails and abuses the girl he secretly has teh crush on; if this was a chixor he'd most likely be considered tsundere.

So the equivalent of a male tsundere is just "asshole?"

Don't get me wrong, I love me some tsundere, but that's one hell of a gender leeway we're giving to the girls right there. Does it explain why broads love Hot Gimmick (and also why they also tend to go out with pricks)?

Something to think about anyway.

Pani Poni Dash! returns, but rich schoolkids reign supreme

A Word From Some Jabroni

Wheee! The world is blowing up but who cares, coz Pani Poni Dash! 25 has been subbed and the girls of Peach Moon can save us all.

It was a positive week for the exchange, but also a pretty slow one at the same time. Some series seem to have fallen off the face of the earth (much like Yotsubato scanlations, where are you???), while others (like Kashimashi) I admit that they got rudely pushed aside for Deadwood, playing Civilization 4, and keeping up with the eroge/Jason-Miao-sux internet dramas.

And is it just me or do the ANN talkbacks tend to be full of self-righteous jerkfaces concerning fansubs?

Anyway, let's get this sucker moving. I got some sleep that needs attending to, and I still want to draft up an editorial to cut down on my mid-week workload.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

COYOTE RAGTIME SHOW (EARLY OFFER)

What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? A Plane? No, it's the most played out catchphrase in anime fandom: "Cowboy Bebop clone OMGBBQ!@"

We know next to nothing about what RAGT has to offer investors, but it's backed by ufotable and any Futakoi Alternative rub is enough to get this security a first-look, nevermind what accusations of possible plagurism there may be.

I guess the guy with glasses is supposed to be Faye Valentine.

ERGO PROXY 13

"Seriously fucked up" was how Ergo Proxy decided to get jiggy with it on Wednesday night, when Iggy turned and got all psycho boyfriend on Real. Stocks were easily up as the whole thing went from creepy to weird back to creepy and weird again.

Analysts can't really blame Iggy though. Real Mayer sure seems to be a whole lot of bitch without the neccessary deredere as of recent. And no matter how badass Vincent may be, Pino seems to be the only one with the balls to take a stand.

Real Mayer was determined to see EPROX through to a 1 1/2 rise this week.

GUN X SWORD 21

Wackiness reached new levels as Gun X Sword pulled out stripper pole control, ass attacks, and Fasarina's mech cumming on Dann—hold on, What?? Sorry, I can't believe that a series would force me to actually type such a description.

But it was still a very mixed bag for the company residing in Endless Illusion. While they did manage to offer up an entertaining product, investors found themselves inexplicably pissed off with how everything is being handled. This strange hatred seems to stem from an ever growing fraction of people who feel that they're going to get royally gyped come the revenge section of the series.

One can only hope that the president of Gun X Sword is paying attention to consumer demand, otherwise GSX may find itself eating a brutal adjust in five weeks time.

"Deito?!" Wendy Garrett wasn't sure if it was the Claw Man's offer or GSX's 1 and 3/4 slide which rocked her more.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 12

Everyone who thought—before episode 11—that the reason for all the confusion within this company was because it's lead contributor had been living in a dream world from the start of the series managed to get a gold star this Monday as Maibara Keiichi was diagnosed with a heavy psychosis.

Well, Half a gold star. There's some inconsistencies about it, and now that they've already tipped their hand, we suspect that theory will be blown out of the water come next week's press release.

Regardless of all the craziness and major (fake?) revalations going on, analysts found that the most important thing on their mind was, "For god's sake man, where's that doctor's receipt?!!"

HIGU got back to #1 on the charts with BLAGN suspiciously absent this week (Oyashiro-sama's curse?).

MAGICAL POKAN 11

Shares in POKAN took a 1 point hit, which came as a surprise after the company saw one of it's most productive outputs on Tuesday. They delivered on comedy, fanservice (although Magical Pokan not delivering fanservice is like KFC giving you fries that are actually crisp and of a non-flaccid existance), not one but two interesting mini-episode premises, perhaps the least amount of recycled animation yet, and LOTS of engrish!

Henry D. Finklestein, Yale professor of finance, cited reason for stock erosion simply a case where an over-saturated market is eating into Magical Pokan's profits.

"There is simply too much other business out there—putting out marginally better quality product—to justify [Magical Pokan] keeping a hold of it's current stock valuation. Oh, and where the fuck did that invisible girl come from?"

It was really no shock to anyone to see POKAN stock take a full point hit.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 13

The diety worship company made certain to put the Melancholy back in The __ Of this Thursday, as Haruhi waxed introspectively of why baseball is a terrible sport. Good odds that there were many people happy to shout "hard gay!" as Itsuki grabbed Kyon's hand during the middle of Haruhi Suzumiya's week. But not us. No sir, because not only is the ASX comprised of upstanding gentlemen, we were also too busy wondering just when the hell is the talking cat from episode 00 going to turn up.

While Thursday made of lots of necessary exposition and set up for a big finale next week, it wasn't the sort of material to ignite a fire under stockbrokers feet. Even if KyoAni can even make sitting in a car look interesting, less Mikuru/Nagato = less $$$.

Even with a CGI assist, Itsuki couldn't save HRHI from taking a half point loss.

MUSHISHI 16

It was a great week for MUSHI stock as they recreated a period remake of Memento starring Hot Milf instead of Guy Pearce. It's getting to the stage where it's hard to recap Mushishi, because it's quality is just so consistent and they somehow manage to give us very little to riff on. But that won't stop us from trying anyway XP

Ginko enjoys the beginning of Summer and his strong performing MUSHI shares.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB 12

Tuesday evening proved once again that when not busy trying to help girl of the week, the Host Club is able to pony up the goods and then some. Honey-senpai took the reigns this time and led everyone through a significant increase, but it was Tamaki's fat teddy bear of ugly which assured OURAN a victorious closing.

No connection, but we like this screengrab.

But the pressing question on everybody's mind was: if we think Honey-senpai is moe, does that make us shota-con? This, coupled with the fact that we prefer Haruhi Fujioka dressed as a boy makes for some very troubling personal statements from the ASX staff.

Seeing the largest gains, everyone was convinced that OURAN was the stock to hold this week.

PANI PONI DASH! TYPE-R 25

The only news of importance to hit the trades on Friday was of a possible sighting of camel-toe, and that Pani Poni Dash! was finally back in the mix after so many months of inactivity. This week was not up to their usual standards—especially given the hilarity of their last outing during the Edo period—proving why Neon Genesis Evangelion doesn't always = laugh riot. But a low stock price coupled with plotlines coming together, bunny girls, and Mesouza's technicolor dream coat made sure that PPD saw positive gains.

There's no witty picture connection, but PPD rose a full point after being stagnant so long.

PETOPETO-SAN 13 (DELIST)

The day it's all been building up to arrives, and PetoPeto-san Industries' Petoko leaves for Tokyo. No, she really does. What a crazy way to close out the series. Firstly poor Kuguru delivers the hard truth of how Shingo is totally pussy whipped by Miss Eroero Monster; then Petoko Suzumiyas out and creates a closed space of Bakedani which engulf her (anal probe flashback? whoah now!), where Shingo is the only one able to bring her back; and thirdly, this episode looked really pretty. We actually get some film noir and a bunch of glamour shots worthy of my overbloated screengrabs.

And after all that fuss is made over Shingo not being able to live without Petoko?

Petoko: I'm going to Tokyo, cya!
Shingo: Kay bye!

Hey, that's not feelgood... That's feelshit! If I hadn't waited to watch the denoument after the credits I may have slit my wrists before writing this.

But beyond that PetoPeto-San was a really solid series. Surprisingly so actually. There's no shock that it was a saccarine 13 episodes, but not many were prepared for how nicely it handled the dramatic turn and seague-wayed from it's slice-of-life roots in the third act. And usually we'd be pretty bummed about the dude choosing the non-tsundere, but dammit—Petoko is just too adorable. This is definitely a testament to the people behind PetoPeto's talents.

For those who managed to scour out this little company and get past it's drab animation levels, investors will have found that PPS was a stock worth sticking to.

It may not have turned out great for Sahara, but a 2 1/4 adjust had all PPS shareholders happy.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 3

Huge ass was on the rise this Monday as the new Rozen Maiden was infiltrated by yet another doll, looking to get some rub from the already established crew.

This left a gaggle of questions up in the air to the future of the business. "Investors need not fear," claimed one Detective Shinku during a press conference. "I deduce that this is clearly a good thing for Rozen Maiden." When asked if this would overcrowd the already full harem, she responded: "Possibly. But it also means one more party that can humiliate Jun, and this, folks, is a good thing."

We at the ASX weren't quite so taken by Kanaria at first glance, but we also felt that way about Suiseiseki at the beginning of last year. And everyone knows how that turned out.

Kanaria is certain that her addition will only boost RZNT prices further.

XXXHOLIC 9

It wasn't expected, but xxxHOLiC hit the market with two good episodes in a row, even though they had to dig through the archives for a concept to run with. But in this case it worked as the remake not only flipped the game, it managed to up Spooky a few notches beyond the old one.

Watanuki managed to gain some overness this Tuesday when paired with a pipe fox. Investors hope it becomes a permanent fixture of the show, because a personal mascot could be exactly the thing to save Watanuki from the sound of groans every time he enters scene. And if that still doesn't work, it could always strangle him to death instead.

Ahh what the hell, here's a Yuuko pinup for you.

Anyone seen those ads? Anyone? Anyone? Bah.