Editorial: The trappings of anime AKA Why I don't like Honey & Clover

Above: A scene you may see frequently in anime. Less so in "Gilmore Girls."

Magicks. Girls with guns. Lands, planets, and times that bear no resemblance to my own. Guys falling over and accidentally touching boob, immediately getting punched into outer-space by a tsunderekko. Fight scenes that take over ten episodes and three flashbacks to resolve. Gut-wrenching melodrama. A reality far removed from this world.

That's what I love.

Y'see, I like my anime BIG. Big action. Huge breasts. Epic tales that span the years. Giant facial contortions. Overwhelming slapstick. Humungous tenticles which may or may not be an analogy for cock. All that stuff; these are the reasons I watch those Japanese cartoons.

But don't mistake me for an ignorant heathen. No no. Because The Rockwell enjoys many a slow-paced, nuanced, simple series grounded in reality.

Just not in anime.

ASX Rating: Zzzzz/10

Let's take Honey & Clover for example. On page it's a pretty decent concept. The characters are likable, with depth, and some even have gimmicks. The dynamics work well. The stories are good. There's laughs and tears. Yet this is the series that ended up costing me a wristwatch, after my constant checking of the time while watching H&C wound up staring a hole straight through it.

But if this was live action? I think then there would be a pretty good chance I'd have the overpriced boxset sitting on my shelf right now.

So what's the missing ingredient? Real actors. This is the key to captivating an audience and holding them in place when you're selling a story that lacks killerlolis or giant mecha.

I don't care how awesome your seiyuu lineup may be; with a director short of God-like and an average animation budget it's just not possible to duplicate the same quality of layered performance that a living, breathing actor of good calibre will give you.

Aliens with rock guitars and robots bursting from a prepubescent teen's forehead? Anime is your go-to guy—no fucking question. Reality and subtlety? Not exactly animation's strong point. I'd go so far to say that it is it's weakness.

Is this to say that you are sucxkz if you prefer Beck to Magikano? Yes. No. So what am I saying? Not entirely sure myself. Perhaps I'm just saying that unfortunately anime isn't an all-in-one magic food processor, and sometimes you gotta hit up other forms of entertainment media for your fix.

Oh, and don't feel ostracized if you didn't like H&C. We can be pals.

ASX Rating: WIN/10