As old shows die, a new season begins (god no!)

A Word From Some Jabroni

I was able to clear several series from my regular viewing roster this week, and I am so estatic about that I can't describe the feeling in human terms.

Not only do I have a ever increasingly pathetic ADSL data cap and the looming Summer season that will stretch it to laughable proportions to worry about, over in America (y'know, that place without Pocky) midseason television has begun, which means somehow slotting Deadwood, Hells Kitchen, and a couple of pilots into my crammed schedule. Which in this case meant temporarily saying "Bleach, bai bai!" Others near the lower ranks may also find themselves getting nixed in the future weeks too, depending how things play out.

Hey, Al Sweargen > Anything else that breaths.

You'll see that a couple of new Summer series have been added to the ASX index. No doubt I'll wind up checking out a large chunk of the new material anyway, but a lot of that is depends on how hard the blogging community ends up shilling them. Only the shows that are guaranteed an initial lock on my roster—no questions asked will make it onto the ASX ahead of release stage.

As a last note, I just want to mention something about Gun X Sword and it's performance this week. You see, it was actually a pretty good episode, and the series has been getting increasingly better, but at the same time this isn't getting reflected in it's stock price. Reason why this is is because as time goes by, the more apparent it becomes that GSX really is just kinda crap.

Sometimes our analysts make these kinds of mistakes. But hey, that's the nature of the stock market after all.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR 9

Air Gear wowed everyone on the floor as they rivaled Kyoto Animation in terms of insane animation output and sheer—

Ah, who are we kidding. Toei saved an assload of money all over the place, most noticeably with extended flashbacks and lengthy title cards. But from within those dank corners of cheap came Agito/Akito, ready to bitchslap those who oppose with the tassels of doom. Her/his intergration to the (alleged) plot piqued traders interest as AIRG rounded out in the green.

We're not big on shit jokes here at the ASX (that's right Ice Age, take your business elsewhere) but there was definitely something funny about Ikki sporting such a serious expression while taking a dump.

With a 3/4 rise it looks like AIRG's offer price was just about right.

BLACK LAGOON 9

Not only did The Lagoon Company come through with an all out assault on Robert Rodreiguz' works (even including the uzi and rocket launcher in the suitcase) they actually managed to outdo the most likely illegal immigrant filmmaker; after all, Antonio Banderas' shotgun couldn't blow peoples clothes off. And sensing that they were in the zone and had consumers eating out of their trigger scorched hands, they immediately followed up with flying cars and Roberta Patrick going after James Cameron next (and I called it way before Rock did, bitches).

Stockbrokers eagerly anticipate next week to see what movie gets ripped off next. Early indications point towards Mad Dog and the Ruski recreating the epic drag race from Grease.

There was no way BLAGN stock was staying down after such a positive trading week.

BLEACH 81 (HIATUS)

The timely announcement of Ninjas and Soi Fong gave a quick injection to BLCH's stock which had been continually sliding as of late. Bleach Inc. managed to use this opportunity to shape this week's product in a manner so that it didn't manage to rock anyones socks to high heaven, but at the same time kept from boring anyones pants in the opposite direction.

Despite an increase, Bleach Inc. made public that it will not be continuing the adventures of Renji and blue balls, as they feel the marketplace is just too crowded for them to make a dent in at this time. ASX expects them to return when they have full backing of the manga again.

Ishida left to get captured again, but next week noone will be left to care.

ERGO PROXY 12

The moment everyone had been waiting for finally arrived as Ergo Proxy not only paired it's two protagonists together, but also moved them out of the murky grey wastelands and into the... damp green wastelands. Vincent Law hulked up with the threat of a rival proxy moving in on his sweet piece of gothic ass, but it was Real Mayar playing everyone cold as ice that really bumped EPROX up from the previous week.

LOL at Real schooling Iggy.

Analysts mentioned how funny it was that Real was considering shooting him just to test out if the anti-proxy bullets work. It's good to see that witch hunt logic still exists in the future.

Real was taken by surprise with EPROX's 1 1/4 point jump.

FATE/STAY NIGHT 24 (DELIST)

FSNT stock called it a night for the very last time on a chilly Friday evening. Unfortunately the only thing on the rise was it's orchestral score as the series rounded out. Traders may have found themselves a little choked up with Saber's resolution (a series based on her androgynous knights of the round may have been a better project), but they were crying buckets over the money they lost on this company.

Before the start of the season FSNT was hyped to be the next breakout stock, but it's initial offerings failed to shake the world and only served up a middling product and annoying male lead. Despite this, the company's share price appeared to make a break for it just before the end of the Q2 as the exposistion was shook off and it started to deliver some of the services that consumers were calling for.

After a short burst it began to stagnate about the 40 point mark, even though some analysts suspected that even this was a case of over-pricing. Their concerns looked to be right on the money, and the general concensus as it delisted seemeds to be that after it's mid-season reboot, Fate/Stay Night always seemed to be constantly on the verge of a kick ass episode, just waiting to boost it into the 45 mark of gold stock status, but each and every time it somehow failed to deliver on it's end of the bargain.

As the final trading day saw it come up short once again, FSNT spiraled into the low 30s and was put to bed for the last time.

Investors expected a lot from FSNT but got punched in the gut instead.

GUN X SWORD 20

The Claw Man held a press briefing today, to clearly detail his plans for world globalization. One brainwashed cultist from the island compound had this to say:

"I think having a New World Order is gooood. The illuminati knew what they were doing all the while back after all. Go one-world government!

A slightly less enthused reporter on site gave a different view:

"Anyone remember that scene from Boogie Nights where Buck is trying to reinvent his image and is dressed in a white gown at Jack Horner's New Years Eve party? Don Cheadle. Claw Man looks exactly like motherfucking Don Cheadle in this!

Outside of that, analysts came to the realization that Vann is probably going to get his ass handed to him. It took a while to notice, but beyond all the bluster and toughguy routine, he actually has no real street cred when it comes to fighting. They agreed that this does not bode well for the stocks future.

After the company made such a huge effort, few were happy about GSX's 1/4 loss.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 11

After a slight drop, HIGU managed to bounce back on Monday, like a baseball bat coming off someone's skull. Problems plaguing the company from last week still remain (all Higurashi needs is a black smoke monster roaming the village to be complete), but noone could say that The Corruption of Keiichi Suzumiya wasn't a compelling piece of TV (or torrent, if you will), regardless of everything behind it.

And what's with all the bicycles in Takano's car? Don't tell me that she's a killerloli killermilf too!

After much research, the only thing certain at this point is that Keiichi is a really bad liar. He gets busted every time, and it usually coincides with someone taking the big sleep shortly near after.

If stocks drop, Keiichi will deliver the swift bat of justice to you!

KASHIMASHI 10

The industry's local gender bender did nothing for the the first half of the week, and it was only in the second half that business began to pick up. Unfortunately the major announcement came off the heels of Tomari mistakingly seeing what looked like Yasuna and Hazumu making out, which will forever taint the legitimacy of the angle.

Stock problem: Kashimashi using the most flimsy dramatical device known to man: the patented "Oh I thought you were doing something dodgy when it was actually wasn't" technique.

Stock solution: Yasuna or Tomari snapping with jealousy and strangling the other to death in their own bed. End series with one stuffed in trunk of Takano-san's car.

Stockbrokers felt very lonely after KASHI dropped a full point on Thursday.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 12

Hitting the end of Saturday's trading, Haruhi Suzumiya willed two schoolgirls with injuries and made the most gratuitous bid possible to sell more CD singles. Contrary to logic, stocks didn't only stay afloat, they began to rise, keeping HRHI close in the race for top spot on the exchange.

At first, investors felt something inherently wrong with a tune being carried from the mouth of Haruhi S. but that couldn't stop them getting in the mood as she began rocking out, hard (it is true that KyoAni would have animated a mosh pit and crowd surfing if the budget permitted).

Haruhi Suzumiya is fast approaching the end of it's financial quarter, and analysts feel as though it has already delivered two of what could be considered season "finishers." One can only muse as to how KyoAni truly plan to close out in two weeks time.

The vastly under-appreciated Tsuruya was a big part of HRHI's increase this week.

NHK NI YOUKOSO! (EARLY OFFER)

NHK ni Youkoso! (or Welcome To The NHK depending how fansubbers roll with it) is one of the top three awaited companys for the Summer season (Tsuyokiss and Honey & Clover 2 being the others, according to numerous polling data). This company is being built from a fairly notorious black comedy manga about the life of a paranoid hikikomori who believes there is a conspiracy against him. This could be a financial success or be bankrupt within weeks and is only suggested for traders with a strong stomach.

GONZO is acting as silent partner to the nervously anticipated NHK ni Youkoso.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB 11

While jumping through windows is always top of the line, high brow comedy, OURAN failed to connect with investors this Wednesday, due to Haruhi going MIA for the majority of the week.

The Host Club say that they are not worried about this slight misstep, and feel that their financial backers have no cause for concern given their past history on delivering the goods.

OURAN prayed to a number of Gods but couldn't stave off a 1/2 point slip.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 2

The recent departure of Suigintou from board of directors started to take it's toll, with it's effects hitting Shinku the hardest; sitting in dark rooms, and brooding all emo, instead of attending company meetings was one of the complaints leveled. Suigintou's replacement tried to provide the same kind of work ethic in an attempt to restore order, but sources say that Shinku found the pirate get-up too embarressing to deal with.

What happened to RZNT's gains this week? Hinaichigo stuffed them in her fat little cheeks.

THE THIRD 5

While their weekly output was pretty solid, THIRD stock was caught in an unfortunate case of being largely overpriced from the time it hit the market. What was originally billed as an action packed futuristic dessert punk thingamajig has morphed into a slow-burn sand dorama. While far from boring, it's not what investors were sold on the advertising.

A Harvard research paper also came out on Tuesday proving that the narration in The Third = (irritating x sux)². Some muse as to whether the early negative remarks from critics towards it's awkward exposition is a reason for the overuse of narration now.

There was little consolation for those who had THIRD in their portfolio, as it took the second biggest hit of the week with a 5 point freefall.

TSUYOKISS (EARLY OFFER)

The other big title for next season that's not about a blonde loli with a huge blank stare on her face is Tsuyokiss, a company dedicated to filling the harem love quota. But where other harem series usually are too big of pussys only include one tsundere character, Tsuyokiss are allegedly going balls to wall with nothing but tsundere! Masochistic otakus will not want to miss out on this security.

Billed as "Cool x Sweet," it's board of directors hopes it will translate to "Cash x Money."

YAKITATE!! JAPAN 69 (DELIST)

While the finale of Yakitate!! had enough gravitas to fill a Boston cream donut and certainly got people smiling, it was also one of the best examples of how not to schedule your anime series correctly, with a rushed pace in the end that would have made an MTV music video feel like a Lars von Trier movie about grass being mowed.

Regardless of the crammed run-time, many familiar faces returned for the send-off, including Pierrot for some special guest judging (but were we the only people hoping the legendary hero would be Kid though?).

After all is said and done with Yakitate's last business day, we have to reflect back on it as a whole, and it's undeniable that Pantasia and pals had a good run. However, somewhere coinciding with the end of the Monaco cup they slipped into a boring routine and just plain stopped trying to innovate the bread entertainment industry anymore. And as a result, the reports for their last financial year reflect this lackluster approach.

Yakitate!! Japan was finally done baking this Monday, but this is a case where it may have been left in the oven too long.

The inevitable answer to Kirisaki's question was "Yes."