Pani Poni Dash! returns, but rich schoolkids reign supreme

A Word From Some Jabroni

Wheee! The world is blowing up but who cares, coz Pani Poni Dash! 25 has been subbed and the girls of Peach Moon can save us all.

It was a positive week for the exchange, but also a pretty slow one at the same time. Some series seem to have fallen off the face of the earth (much like Yotsubato scanlations, where are you???), while others (like Kashimashi) I admit that they got rudely pushed aside for Deadwood, playing Civilization 4, and keeping up with the eroge/Jason-Miao-sux internet dramas.

And is it just me or do the ANN talkbacks tend to be full of self-righteous jerkfaces concerning fansubs?

Anyway, let's get this sucker moving. I got some sleep that needs attending to, and I still want to draft up an editorial to cut down on my mid-week workload.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

COYOTE RAGTIME SHOW (EARLY OFFER)

What's that in the sky? Is it a bird? A Plane? No, it's the most played out catchphrase in anime fandom: "Cowboy Bebop clone OMGBBQ!@"

We know next to nothing about what RAGT has to offer investors, but it's backed by ufotable and any Futakoi Alternative rub is enough to get this security a first-look, nevermind what accusations of possible plagurism there may be.

I guess the guy with glasses is supposed to be Faye Valentine.

ERGO PROXY 13

"Seriously fucked up" was how Ergo Proxy decided to get jiggy with it on Wednesday night, when Iggy turned and got all psycho boyfriend on Real. Stocks were easily up as the whole thing went from creepy to weird back to creepy and weird again.

Analysts can't really blame Iggy though. Real Mayer sure seems to be a whole lot of bitch without the neccessary deredere as of recent. And no matter how badass Vincent may be, Pino seems to be the only one with the balls to take a stand.

Real Mayer was determined to see EPROX through to a 1 1/2 rise this week.

GUN X SWORD 21

Wackiness reached new levels as Gun X Sword pulled out stripper pole control, ass attacks, and Fasarina's mech cumming on Dann—hold on, What?? Sorry, I can't believe that a series would force me to actually type such a description.

But it was still a very mixed bag for the company residing in Endless Illusion. While they did manage to offer up an entertaining product, investors found themselves inexplicably pissed off with how everything is being handled. This strange hatred seems to stem from an ever growing fraction of people who feel that they're going to get royally gyped come the revenge section of the series.

One can only hope that the president of Gun X Sword is paying attention to consumer demand, otherwise GSX may find itself eating a brutal adjust in five weeks time.

"Deito?!" Wendy Garrett wasn't sure if it was the Claw Man's offer or GSX's 1 and 3/4 slide which rocked her more.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 12

Everyone who thought—before episode 11—that the reason for all the confusion within this company was because it's lead contributor had been living in a dream world from the start of the series managed to get a gold star this Monday as Maibara Keiichi was diagnosed with a heavy psychosis.

Well, Half a gold star. There's some inconsistencies about it, and now that they've already tipped their hand, we suspect that theory will be blown out of the water come next week's press release.

Regardless of all the craziness and major (fake?) revalations going on, analysts found that the most important thing on their mind was, "For god's sake man, where's that doctor's receipt?!!"

HIGU got back to #1 on the charts with BLAGN suspiciously absent this week (Oyashiro-sama's curse?).

MAGICAL POKAN 11

Shares in POKAN took a 1 point hit, which came as a surprise after the company saw one of it's most productive outputs on Tuesday. They delivered on comedy, fanservice (although Magical Pokan not delivering fanservice is like KFC giving you fries that are actually crisp and of a non-flaccid existance), not one but two interesting mini-episode premises, perhaps the least amount of recycled animation yet, and LOTS of engrish!

Henry D. Finklestein, Yale professor of finance, cited reason for stock erosion simply a case where an over-saturated market is eating into Magical Pokan's profits.

"There is simply too much other business out there—putting out marginally better quality product—to justify [Magical Pokan] keeping a hold of it's current stock valuation. Oh, and where the fuck did that invisible girl come from?"

It was really no shock to anyone to see POKAN stock take a full point hit.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 13

The diety worship company made certain to put the Melancholy back in The __ Of this Thursday, as Haruhi waxed introspectively of why baseball is a terrible sport. Good odds that there were many people happy to shout "hard gay!" as Itsuki grabbed Kyon's hand during the middle of Haruhi Suzumiya's week. But not us. No sir, because not only is the ASX comprised of upstanding gentlemen, we were also too busy wondering just when the hell is the talking cat from episode 00 going to turn up.

While Thursday made of lots of necessary exposition and set up for a big finale next week, it wasn't the sort of material to ignite a fire under stockbrokers feet. Even if KyoAni can even make sitting in a car look interesting, less Mikuru/Nagato = less $$$.

Even with a CGI assist, Itsuki couldn't save HRHI from taking a half point loss.

MUSHISHI 16

It was a great week for MUSHI stock as they recreated a period remake of Memento starring Hot Milf instead of Guy Pearce. It's getting to the stage where it's hard to recap Mushishi, because it's quality is just so consistent and they somehow manage to give us very little to riff on. But that won't stop us from trying anyway XP

Ginko enjoys the beginning of Summer and his strong performing MUSHI shares.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB 12

Tuesday evening proved once again that when not busy trying to help girl of the week, the Host Club is able to pony up the goods and then some. Honey-senpai took the reigns this time and led everyone through a significant increase, but it was Tamaki's fat teddy bear of ugly which assured OURAN a victorious closing.

No connection, but we like this screengrab.

But the pressing question on everybody's mind was: if we think Honey-senpai is moe, does that make us shota-con? This, coupled with the fact that we prefer Haruhi Fujioka dressed as a boy makes for some very troubling personal statements from the ASX staff.

Seeing the largest gains, everyone was convinced that OURAN was the stock to hold this week.

PANI PONI DASH! TYPE-R 25

The only news of importance to hit the trades on Friday was of a possible sighting of camel-toe, and that Pani Poni Dash! was finally back in the mix after so many months of inactivity. This week was not up to their usual standards—especially given the hilarity of their last outing during the Edo period—proving why Neon Genesis Evangelion doesn't always = laugh riot. But a low stock price coupled with plotlines coming together, bunny girls, and Mesouza's technicolor dream coat made sure that PPD saw positive gains.

There's no witty picture connection, but PPD rose a full point after being stagnant so long.

PETOPETO-SAN 13 (DELIST)

The day it's all been building up to arrives, and PetoPeto-san Industries' Petoko leaves for Tokyo. No, she really does. What a crazy way to close out the series. Firstly poor Kuguru delivers the hard truth of how Shingo is totally pussy whipped by Miss Eroero Monster; then Petoko Suzumiyas out and creates a closed space of Bakedani which engulf her (anal probe flashback? whoah now!), where Shingo is the only one able to bring her back; and thirdly, this episode looked really pretty. We actually get some film noir and a bunch of glamour shots worthy of my overbloated screengrabs.

And after all that fuss is made over Shingo not being able to live without Petoko?

Petoko: I'm going to Tokyo, cya!
Shingo: Kay bye!

Hey, that's not feelgood... That's feelshit! If I hadn't waited to watch the denoument after the credits I may have slit my wrists before writing this.

But beyond that PetoPeto-San was a really solid series. Surprisingly so actually. There's no shock that it was a saccarine 13 episodes, but not many were prepared for how nicely it handled the dramatic turn and seague-wayed from it's slice-of-life roots in the third act. And usually we'd be pretty bummed about the dude choosing the non-tsundere, but dammit—Petoko is just too adorable. This is definitely a testament to the people behind PetoPeto's talents.

For those who managed to scour out this little company and get past it's drab animation levels, investors will have found that PPS was a stock worth sticking to.

It may not have turned out great for Sahara, but a 2 1/4 adjust had all PPS shareholders happy.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 3

Huge ass was on the rise this Monday as the new Rozen Maiden was infiltrated by yet another doll, looking to get some rub from the already established crew.

This left a gaggle of questions up in the air to the future of the business. "Investors need not fear," claimed one Detective Shinku during a press conference. "I deduce that this is clearly a good thing for Rozen Maiden." When asked if this would overcrowd the already full harem, she responded: "Possibly. But it also means one more party that can humiliate Jun, and this, folks, is a good thing."

We at the ASX weren't quite so taken by Kanaria at first glance, but we also felt that way about Suiseiseki at the beginning of last year. And everyone knows how that turned out.

Kanaria is certain that her addition will only boost RZNT prices further.

XXXHOLIC 9

It wasn't expected, but xxxHOLiC hit the market with two good episodes in a row, even though they had to dig through the archives for a concept to run with. But in this case it worked as the remake not only flipped the game, it managed to up Spooky a few notches beyond the old one.

Watanuki managed to gain some overness this Tuesday when paired with a pipe fox. Investors hope it becomes a permanent fixture of the show, because a personal mascot could be exactly the thing to save Watanuki from the sound of groans every time he enters scene. And if that still doesn't work, it could always strangle him to death instead.

Ahh what the hell, here's a Yuuko pinup for you.

Anyone seen those ads? Anyone? Anyone? Bah.