Bishis sneak out Pirates for most productive week

A Word From Some Jabroni

It really hasn't been a big week for happenings. No giant stock leaps, barely anything of interest on ANN to gank for my little ticker up above (I don't even like Black Cat!). Nope, ain't nothing goin' on but the rent.

Ouran High School Host Club and Black Lagoon were the biggest earners this time around (both slowly encroaching on the #1 and #2 spots held by Haruhi (of the Suzumiya kind) and Higurashi (of the providing no answers kind)), with the later giving us one hell of an introduction and episode tease, and the former delivering some comedy of the year.

I gotta admit; I was pretty surprised by just how nonchalently they sold Haruhi's father to me on Ouran, but I kinda dig it... and I guess it makes sense if homosexuality and that isn't as big a deal in Japan as it is here (which I'm taking from wiki's Homosexuality In Japan page... Yes, I had to look up okama—a translation note probably wouldn't have gone awry LunarAnime).

Oh, and the bananas. Always the bananas.

Anyway, since it's a slow week we may as well wrap up short and get into it, lest I start telling you all about how I accidentally ripped my toenail out a few hours ago (I'm tuff tho, don't worry).

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

AIR GEAR GOES PUBLIC

AIRG is the latest and greatest stock for those who like to imagine rollerblading is cool beyond 1992 (it isn't), or that an anime spit-shine can somehow make it so (it can't). Using the combination of fanservice, meganekko (Ringo > Simca), and the main character constantly falling off things, Air Gear provides a fastfood meal that, while not substantial, is easily digestable for those on the run.

And unlike Tenjou Tenge, it won't induce a burning anus afterwards.

A low offer price means all the more importance that Air Gear keeps a grip on matters.

BLACK LAGOON 8

In a bid to get more international exposure, The Lagoon Company blatently pandered to certain webmaster's obssesive fetish by introducing a killer meido to the show, and doing a little nod to Antonio Banderas' career highpoint at the same time.

While we at the ASX are all for girls with bifocals, aforementioned meido does look a bit too similar to Kevin from Sin City to hit the sweet spot in our pants.

BLAGN was up 2 1/2 points but Roberta stealing the limelight did not bode well for Rebby.

ERGO PROXY 11

As far as existentialist pieces go, Ergo Proxy's team proved that that they were up to the task to get artfag with it with lots of recycled-but-only-sorta animation. The reunion of Mayer and Law left many with high spirits that, as JR would say, "business, is about to pick up!"

It wasn't all roses however, because on Wednesday evening an article in Forbes Magazine came out, stating:

"... while [Ergo Proxy] can display some of the nicest visuals of the season (albeit somewhat hampered by a constant murky brown skyline now), it also tends to flip into some very questionable renderings of character facial details at mid-distance."

EPROX's rising share price was taken down a few notches after this announcement.

Kudos to Shinsen-subs whose liner notes taught us more useless knowledge than we'd learnt in the entire year passed.

Vincent Law wrestled with himself this week, much like EPROX's floor price.

FATE/STAY NIGHT 23

The marketing department of Fate/Stay Night pulled a sly one this week when they released a product that seemed as though a lot happened in it when really it was just a bunch of filibuster intercut with pretty sword sparks.

On Wednesday, the writers employed by FSN decided that Saber can use Excalibur after all. Even though Caster may have passed on, her wackness still lives as it appears that she couldn't even implement a plot device correctly.

And did Kirei really have to kill Shirou's dad? Our analysts believe that it's pointless to be upping the stakes with such left-field reveals this late in the financial quarter.

Tohsaka fought to stay awake watching the latest week of Fate/Stay Night.

GUN X SWORD 19

Vann and Ray made their comeback to the crawling franchise last Thursday to invigorate it with lotsa mech action, which worked somewhat. "Lotsa mech action" largely translated to "fumbling around" and "making pained expressions" which didn't exactly blow investors pants off, but some people got hot energy cannons to the face which is always rated highly in today's climate given the war on whiny brats.

GSX slowly rose by 1/4 despite how much yelling was made by stock brokers.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 10

In a bubble, Higurashi put out a suitably engrossing and creepy week of product for new traders looking to jump on the wagon. But for long time investors, this couldn't stop the feeling of helplessness as they sat, waiting for any kind of answers that would link the chapters together—even a hint would be okay, c'mon cut a brotherman a break!

HIGU underwent a full point drop as Satoko-chan went into chibi-sensei mode.

Decline of HIGU stock price caused some adverse reactions on the trading floor.

KASHIMASHI 9

Kashimashi finally made it's return on the ASX sporting damn mkv files, after months of waiting for fansubs that wouldn't come. They made their return with a not exactly ground-breaking move in delivering a matsuri/yukata episode, but made up with for it with subtext of the nudge-nudge variety.

There are factions out there who believe that Tomari and Yasuna are closer with each other than Hazumu anyway, and should hook up. That's one way to wrap up the series.

Kashimashi's delayed return to the exchange was surprising to many, after weeks of waiting.

MAGICAL POKAN 10

A temporary relocation to the snowy Alps saw Magical Pokan pull out more fanservice than stock holders could shake their sticks at. While they stuck to formula pretty closely this week, POKAN experienced a minor drop; perhaps an indication that fluff can only be sold to consumers for so long. There are also some say that Magical Pokan played the hermaphrodite card too early, and should really have saved it for the climax.

While not sinking as deep as Ai, POKAN found itself freezed out this week.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 11

Seeing a winning strategy last week, the fan-frustrating company entrusted all it's resources to Nagato Yuki hoping she'd cause me to squeal like a girl. They were bang on the money as the "indespensible silent member" of the SOS Brigade h4x0r3d her way into our hearts.

Special mention goes out to the computer society who not only connected some plot points, but got down Lil Jon style (it seemed funny at the time).

Mikuru and her fleet of pink neko aliens saw HRHI through a 3/4 rise.

MUSHISHI 15

There was a mixed reaction to Mushishi's refined approach as seen in their new promotional artwork (Fig.A). While the ladies appeared to regard it quite highly, the male demograph were strongly against it, scared that Ginko will make away with their women.

Fig.A, Mushishi's new poster artwork.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB 10

Perhaps in part thanks to space mushrooms migrating from early Pani Poni Dash! that OURAN stock picked up this Tuesday to most people's joy. In spite of a product that caters to the richest fat cats out there, ironically the Ouran High School Host Club is never better than when it is dabbling in the matters of impoverished commoners.

The announcement of Haruhi's father being an okama was certainly a shock... but we're not saying in like a bad way, coz you know, it's totally cool and stuff—I mean, it's not our thing, but no problems if it's yours—some of our best friends watch Will & Grace even!

The presence of the Host Club in Haruhi's neighbourhood caused property values to jump as well as OURAN shares.

ROZEN MAIDEN TRAUMEND 1

A new financial year saw Rozen Maiden giving us another great serial killer carnivale'esque OP theme song and taking on the suffix "Traümend," which literally translates to "flying suitcase for make destruction."

While no major innovations were made, they displayed a bit of everything that made them such a success last year: flowery hamburgers, tsundere, Detective Kun-kun, the lazy eyed alligator of justice, and Jun getting smacked about a bunch.

Many were concerned over the departure of Suigintou from the company and what this would mean. On Monday they managed to breath a little easier as a replacement Maiden was brought in to fill her seat on the board of directors. Details for the new member are due to be released next week.

There was plenty of cackling made when Suiseiseki found out she had employment for another season.

XXXHOLIC 8

Wednesday, 12:15 AM PST, an article was written that shook the world to it's very core*. xxxHOLiC saw this and appropriately responded by releasing the Spooky Monkey Paw of Death®.

Everyone knows that there are two kinds of monkeys: the good chimp that solves crime around the world, and the bad chimp that is only interested in causing monkey business. This one was definately of the later as it ran wild on some moron who was making what had to be the most pathetic wishes in the history of mankind.

While this week saw stock on the rise, analysts don't predict it to hold for long.

* Not really

Many were happy with XHOLC's 1 1/2 performance, but more were impressed with Yuuko's hair styalist.

YAKITATE!! JAPAN 68

Something felt off this week, and it wasn't just that they broke into JR Tolkein's home and stole all his electricals. While it's a given that Yakitate is wanting some blockbuster reactions to cap off the series, there was definately something questionable about getting this kind of full-length fantasy episode when we're only one week away from them closing up shop for good.

Some have been saying that Pantasia's win was a fix and Kuryonagi has been compromised. I mean come on, "hands that love the ingrediants" is the reason why they won this—you fuckin' kidding me?

Yakitate submitted to mediocrity and a fall of 1 point.