Editorial: The Sadism Of Crayotic Rockwell

Foreword: I'm freezing my fingers off typing this, but figured what the hell; gotta keep my exposure up or risk losing street cred with Da Bloggerz. The Stock Exchage should be back up this Sunday/Monday barring any new problems with my computer, so if that's your gig, please look forward to it and stuff.

Crayotic Rockwell

I spend a lot of time on the computer. We're talking a large majority of the day. If you were to imagine me as one of those chunky guys grafted to a $9.95 Walmart computer chair eating bolagnaise sauce through an IV drip, you'd be thinking smart money. So naturally I wind up surfing the cyber information highway a bit, and during this time I read my fair share of anime blogs that other fat guys have written. Possibly even some fat girls. In fact, I've read every single post ever made on anime ever, and I think I can safely say that without hyperbole.

And usually the community tinkers away and I don't feel the need to step in... but lately I've been noticing a growing trend that I think has to be nipped in the butt before it sprouts pants and becomes something of history.

This, of course, concerns the line of thought that Asahina Mikuru is moe.

Now, I don't lay blame on anyone in particular. After all, moe is such a debated term already, and much like thinking Lost is a well written television series, it's a fairly easy misconception to make.

You see, at face value, Mikuru-chan meets all the requirements no question about it. Sure. But the genius of the matter is that she doesn't just settle for standard out-of-the-box moe; she reaches a new power level and goes super saiyin level 5 with it. Because what happens is that she becomes so omega moe of the year that it actually begins to circle back on itself and eat it's own tail. Like the millenium snake. This girl is quite possibly the pure antithesis of moe, in a weird backwards kinda way.

My take on the matter is that for a character to be truly moe, at the end of the day you ultimately need to feel protective of them. And this is anything but the case for Mikuru. Because I derive great joy from seeing her hiding under a baseball mit in fear. I giggle when she yelps at the mention of handing out flyers. Every week I want to see what new and exciting ways Haruhi can torture poor Mikuru.

And I'd wager that a lot of you do too.

Should we feel ashamed about it? Hmmm... There's this term, coined by the Germans, called "Schadenfreude." Which means gaining pleasure from the misfortune of others. This is a legitimate, common psychological condition, and if Alan Shore can argue it as defence on an episode of Boston Legal I don't see anything wrong with indulging in a bit of it from time to time.

Does it help that Haruhi Suzumiya is dishing out the misfortune? Sure, it doesn't hurt. But Mikuru is also just so entertaining that I think even if it was Osama Bin Laden in the Ultra Director's seat we'd get a good chuckle (note: 911 was not caused by Haruhi's boredom while visiting America. These rumours are vicious slander).

Actually, who's up to see a Mikuru spin-off series? Every week an evil villian would threaten Japan, only to be confronted by Mikurun-run who would transform into super mahou shoujo and then cower in a corner. I see ratings going through the roof!

Take that, Osama Bin Lamer!

More Mikuru photos for your viewing pleasure: Img A, Img B, Img C, Img D, Img E, Img F, Img G