Huge gains for the market, big losses for smart antagonists

A Word From Some Jabroni

We saw a successful bunch of anime for the CRAYDAQ this week, with a number of gold moving securities such as Ergo Proxy, Blood+, and Higurashi to name a few. But putting those aside, what I really want to look at is a more pressing and perhaps cynical angle. This is of course, the subject matter of Wack Villians.

You may remember a week or so back there was complaints on the ASX of Blood+'s Diva who, when having our protagonists bent over a barrel, decided that they couldn't stretch the story for another 26 episodes if everyone died to leave and get a new dress instead of taking care of business. Well Fate/Stay Night's Caster manages to outdo her in every sense of the manner and take stupidity firmly through the roof.

Here's the deal; Caster catches Shirou/Rin/Saber in an elaborate trap of hers, and because the whole purpose of the Holy Grail War is to do away with your opponants, she kills them off, right? Well if by "kill" you mean "tells them her entire plan and lets them go," then yes! Otherwise, not so. Our heros then race home but fall into another crafty plan of hers, leaving Saber bereft of her medieval genki dama—oh noes!

Ahhh, okay, I get it now, Saber's injured (more) and therefore easy prey. Good plan... weellll not so much. Because instead Caster just goes to take a leak and tells them to come find her. To which they then fall into another of her traps (this time just a generic ambush). Rin breaks through, but is stopped short by Miss Almighty "will kill you for chewing gum" Caster. What's going to happen to our Tosaka?!?

"Be given free passage to put an end to Caster's well thought out plan?" You bet your sweet ass!

OKAY WHAT, THE, FUCK?

And yet she lets Saber live twice, and finally orders Assassin to kill her when it comes down to it?

This is allegedly the most treacherous witch in history we're dealing with. A Servant who will sacrifice all of Tokyo; who will even kill her own Master... and she just shrugs it off? Do her powers only work if she's been fed after midnight or something? What in the blue hell is going on?

She's had them pwned three times so far and not only does she let them escape, she gives them the password to her email account and personal cellphone number. You might say: "Oh but that's all part of her plan." Her plan to do what, dick around? Her plan to kill them the day after tomorrow after next week? I'm speechless.

This is no photoshop. She just sucks that much.

At least you can kind of argue that Diva is insane and everything is just a bit of fun for her. In Fate/Stay Night The Holy Grail is the big enchillada supposedly motivating all these people. I've seen people take a Pauly Shore movie more seriously.

And Caster is the legendary witch of Greek mythology? Discworld mythology might be more apt.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week In Recap

BLACK LAGOON 4-5

Moving into the trade of war antiquities, Black Lagoon managed to drum up interest among some over-zealous German based parties. However, negotiations fell through at the eleventh hour when it was discovered that Benny was cousin to comedian, Sarah Silverman. (10 points if you get those screencaps)

"Those poor Gerries," one financier said. "First they lost the war, and now Levi is going to reduce their ship to rubble. They're going to be left clinging to floating barrels like those pirates in Asterix."

A memo was also circulated around the ShinsenSubs press core to refer to Levi as Revi from now on. We're gonna call their bluff and stick with the original, as they will soon revert back to when it becomes obvious her parents named her after a pair of 501 jeans.

No worries for investors of BLAGN as they found it to be smooth sailing for their shares.

BLOOD+ 27-28

The company which had a very rough beginning looks to have learnt from that initial experience and is now turning out an impressive third quarterly; likely to only increase after moving it's offices to the middle of Paris.

Other factors contributing to BLDP's price was the winning combination of Rebecca-Miyamoto-ala-crack-whore and what-the-hell-is-chibichibi-Batou-san-doing-here? making up the Schiff support team.

Kai surprised investors by not getting his ass handed to him for once. Not so surprising was his vintage attempt at cockblocking the action (perfected by Shirou; innovated by Kai, bitches), but this time it was actually considered beneficial by many. Due to the worst cliffhanger placement in history, we won't have the figures for Blood+'s true net profit until next week.

Saya was awesome in her fight with Haji deshou.

Saya may have felt alone this week, but her BLDP stock should keep her happy

DISGAEA DELISTS AT EPISODE 3

Despite making cashmoney the past two weeks, Disgaea finally announced bankruptcy and delisted on Wednesday far below margin for DSGA stockholders. Looking back, it's still inconceivable how their creative staff went from this all the way to this monstrosity during the phase of adaptation.

ERGO PROXY 7-8

Thursday marked a huge boon for the Blade Runner'esque series, which saw a welcome return to mystery and action after the previous weeks charity work with filthy peasants. Inspector Mayer proved that truly hot chicks don't need makeup and can rock hospital gowns yet still look good.

Traders were eager to buy up shares in EPROX but they were not without a number of questions; how many more times will the fansubbers change characters names? Is Dedars a dude, and if not, where's the HLA? And lastly, what is going on with this plot??

Thinking about Ergo Proxy hurt many peoples brains. Deciding to buy EPROX stock took a lot less strain.

FATE/STAY NIGHT 16-18

Huge amounts of tsundere was being exported according to the latest audits of Fate/Stay Night for their third-quarterly. FSNT stock exceeded expectations with big action playing a larger role and the addition of Illyasveil to the in-house publishing team. Lazy writing hurt it's price slightly, but not enough to stop owners of FSNT rolling in moneys.

GUN X SWORD 17

It was Gang Busters! for the sci-fi western as Carmen rounded up all previous guest appearances to take on the Claw Man and his posse. Vann and co. managed to expand non-plot to a genius level with the implementation of a swimsuit city that only women can enter. The appearance of Fasarina and her stripper pole über weapon combined with the rest had stockbrokers working at a level previously unseen for GSX shares.

It is to be noted that fanservice was actually at a tame level, for all except those who searched dutifully for it, thanks to the usage of a donkey mosaic. The market was generally split between it being a brilliant idea or bakabakabaka!!

GSX may not be the hottest property about, but it's recent performance ensured that very few people lost their clothing.

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI 4

On Friday evening the small town crazy loli retailer made moves in the industry that blew investors balls off. On Saturday the President announced that May 19th shall forever be known as Higurashi Is So Awesome I Gave It My Girlfriend and It Punched Me In The Face As Thanks Day. Citizens are not required to work. In fact, you'll probably be chopped up like veal if you do.

The Wall Street Times had this to say: "It's really hard not to feel sorry for them when Keiichi goes angry-man. Even though you know they're ultimately a bunch of pent-up psychos. It's very conflicting."

HIGU was laughing all week after knocking HRHI out of top spot on the CRAYDAQ.

HIMAWARI! 2

This ninja start-up business knew what = $$$s this week, proven when they wasted zero time getting past setup and straight into the coveted meganekko tsundere episode. Not only that, a new comedy act was added to the cast and they also managed to gain credability with the internet demographic by advocating the act of watching illegal fansubs on your PC. This is something we at ASX do not suggest people try at home, however.

Question: was that kappa trying to get fresh with Yasura-chan?

JIGOKU SHOUJO 18-19

Enma Ai, Company President of Hotline to Hell, has been less than enthusiastic with her latest business ventures and not approaching the revenge industry with the same sort of vigor as usual, reports indicate. It is even suspected that she may be grooming a new company president to take her place. Regardless of a potential upper management shuffle, JKSJ was in the green this week as two evil bitches sacrificed themselves to the investors in a three quarter point climb.

Enma Ai's lack of nekketsu didn't keep people from buying JKSJ stock.

MAGICAL POKAN 4

The werewolf/vampire/witch/android conglomorate may as well have renamed it's company slogan to "Cute Girls say Balls" as POKAN animation-recycled their way to a quarter drop. Some question the quality of direction going on here, as Pachira was allowed to try eating her own arm in one scene.

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZIMIYA 7

"A return to form." That's the underlying subtext of how newspapers described Haruhi Suzumiya's recent week in business. While the SOS Brigade didn't roll out any changes of the genitalia damaging kind like Higurashi, they did manage to build on an already winning formula and give big-ups to Full Metal Panic at the same time.

Analysts continue to be impressed with Kyoto Animation's deft handling of finances. While it's a given that money is to be spent on closed-space action, it's the resources allocated to imperetive details like this that is truly appreciated by many.

Scarab healed HRHI's price drop from last week +99HP.

MUSHISHI 12

There was much confusement at the beginning of this week as to Mushishi's head executive. Analysts were getting information from numerous sources that Ginko, CEO had stepped down to make room for a hawt experienced MILF, while others suspected that he had been accidentally killed by aliens and resurrected as a girl. In the end it all turned out to be a clever installment of flashback no jutsu, allowing the company to enrichen it's history a little more.

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB 2-3

It didn't take the trading floor long to realize that OURAN's offer price was criminally undervalued when it first came on the market, and within minutes of opening the bishounen company's stock value had increased an impressive amount.

Lord Tamaki received the award for Best Debuting Male from HQ Magazine (May Edition), among other accolades from less prestigious outlets, such as Best Ozymandias Stunt Double and Best Non-Homo-Sidekick Character In A New Series. This and the added announcement of yuri on Thursday secured OURAN with a final gain of over 20%.

PANI PONI DASH! 20

Mid-way through the week, a jackmove was attempted on Himeko's easily exploitable head by deadly space mushrooms. Things were shaky for PPD while the company lacked it's star ahoge, and the comedy skein was forced into some pretty badly proportioned figures. Thankfully, by end of trading Becky-sensei, in ultra kawaii mode, had managed to avert a hostile takeover and lead everyone into an awesome ichijouneko epilogue.

Screencapping PPD gives me warm fuzzies.

Mesousa found himself at the end of spousal abuse, after accidentally shorting his PPD shares.

ROZEN MAIDEN 7

The wind-up company took a dip this week as it failed to meet the projected financial report from episode 6. Investors expected much more gravitas but wound up with a large amount of filler in their pockets by market end.

Good news for the company however, is that Suiseiseki who debuted to a collective amount of apathy between stock-brokers has managed to skyrocket up the charts in only a few episodes. Many predict her to be a good bet for MVP of the season.

THE THIRD 2

Aoi Hitomi no Shoujo signed a lucrative deal with Sony this Monday, preceeding a quick drop because the Nintendo DS is more rad. Other factors may include the forced release of a romance angle to meet the Christmas rush.

THIRD failed to meet the offer price and left many traders looking like Honoka.

YAKITATE!! JAPAN 61

A shakeup of staff at the executive level proved beneficial as Azuma went MIA and Kanmuri steered JPAN into a full point and a half gain. The papers were worried about Yakitate's newly discovered ties to yakuza and stealing music from The Phantom Of The Opera, but investors feel confident that Kanmuri will be able to dissassociate the company from these scandals with Kid cameos and tenchou feet of destruction.

NOTE: Unless otherwise mentioned, no Previews or Spoilers are used and/or wanted to base the above market data on.