Bewbs: The most proftable commodity this May

A Word From Some Jabroni

With DOA: Pururun Vollyball jiggling into E3, the SOS Brigade going on a beach excursion, and Gainax expanding the girls of Mahora Academy's cup size, it was a big week for breasts in general. Of course Mahou Sensei Negima getting a second TV series is by far the major news item, because I wrote it all in bold letters. If you remember the original anime you may be wondering why bother getting worked up over a show which was all kinds of "meh." Which is fair enough, but those familiar with the source material will know that it has the potential to be all kinds of "teh awesome." Unless you just plain don't like Akamatsu, in which case we probably can't be best friends.

Xebec and whoever else was responsible for the initial botch-job is out, and instead Shaft, Gainax, and the director of Pani Poni Dash! is taking reigns. Could this mean Negima is the next Evangelion? Negi Genesis Evangelion??? ZOMG Possibly so! Buuut... more than likely it'll just mean lots of rad fanservice. The real question will be where this new season picks up. Remake the beginning? Continue from the Kyoto arc? Jump to the martial arts tournament? An original story? And Which would people prefer to see?

WARNING: above image may(will) not look like end result

In the future I will be adding yet-to-be-aired series like this to the exchange, and you can amuse yourself with how much a show kicked me in the balls from my initial expectations. But at this stage there's already so many listed, Negi-bouzu will have to be left off until the OVAs are at least within fwapping distance.

And speaking of ASX listings, a few stocks (PPSN, PPD, and HSING) had to be manually adjusted to bring them in line with everything else. Since this whole concept is relatively new It's not completely unexpected that I'd screw a couple things up.. but hopefully now that I've come up with a much more solid idea of what the prices mean we shouldn't see much of this in the future.

Crayotic Rockwell

The Week in Recap

BLEACH 78

Investors got Fate/Stay Nighted this week as Bleach Inc. made an effort to set the record for doing the least possible in an action series. Nevertheless, last minute setups and the debut of Ganjuu's pink accessory fashion line (seriously, he's even got designer explosives in a variety of pastels) managed to boost future confidence one point upwards.

There is a lot of concern whether Bleach Inc. can continue this upwards trend or if it was just a fluke

BLOOD+ 26

Trying to crack the record for cd singles sold in a non-highschool-comedy-where-they-remix-the-same-track-20-times-for-you-suckers-to-buy format, Blood+ unveiled a third OP to the press at the half-series milestone mark. This new title sequence showed promise for investors as it not only featured a bipolar Saya off meds but also a Rubix Cube, which is over huge (along with the A-Team and MC Hammer pants). Continued katana carnage not only proved great aliteration by this author, but also further cemented a possible return to a more OVA'esque Saya in the future.

FATE/STAY NIGHT 15

If you sold your FSNT stock earlier you may have found yourself in for a shock as it flew past the point of good taste this week. Many had predicted an episode of downtime as Saber regained her mana, and while this did turn out to be the case, noone quite imagined Shirou to astral project himself through her vagina (we at ASX hesitate to mention it, but there is no denying what we saw). Some question what a dragon was doing in such a place, however. We are currently looking to see if Dr Sigmund Freud noted anything about the relationship between sexual impulses and poor CGI.

Overwhelming levels of implied yuri and menage trois action made up the first half of trading, with Rin Tosaka blowing Hercules' face off like Daffy Duck with an ACME gemstone for the second half. Analysts praise Shirou's double standards. He has no problem stopping Saber from fighting, but proves a little less effective when she's molested by hot chix0rs.

Up against stiff competition, FSNT managed to battle it's way just shy of $40.00

HELLSING OVAS

As a result of some manual adjustments and also in reaction to last weeks news of a new installment, HSING stock rose eight full points, showing the market's confidence in a solid final product. Traders hope not to have grown a beard of moss by time of it's release.

HIMAWARI! OPENS ABOVE AVERAGE

Going public on the exchange this week, Himawari! offers a range of services including nice animation, nekomimi, an interesting setting, and fansubbers continuing to irritate the market with 200mb+ mkv files.

Some state that the mixture of ninjas with modern day tech has already been seen on other shows such as Naruto, and while this is true (although a snipers rifle fashioned from pine is new to me), the later series is also sorely lacking in hot megganeko shinobi. Analysts suggest that while Himawari! isn't likely to make any huge waves, their share price could perform a steady rate of growth if no sudden changes are made.

Don't run away, Himawari! promises to do it's best on the stock exchange!

JIGOKU SHOUJO 16-17

JKSJ rallied wildly this week before closing below mark. Positive gains came from sources such as Honeonna "Obasan" and some long-awaited spooky revenge (formula: jerk+ISDM=awesome³), but ghost tales with Rozen Maiden rejects hurt the company's performance, not to mention made no lick of sense. The leading revenge retailer lacks a clear business plan at this stage, which leaves more than a few people worried.

MAGICAL POKAN 2-3

Face-lickage and "Story be damned, let's take off our clothes!" brought decent gains from POKAN's original offer price, but it was possibly screen caption of the year which resulted in the most active trading desu. Market veterans would have been surprised by how far Magical Pokan went to reach the ero-ero demographic, if it wasn't tempered by Fate/Stay Night's unbeatable (or perhaps too beatable depending which way you view it) performance earlier.

The girls got hit with a whopping credit card bill this week, but their POKAN shares should be able to cover it

THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA 6

The SOS Brigade tried to expand it's consumer base into the mysterious island area with episode 6, leading to mixed results. While their beginning was pretty good, even including an homage to Jigoku Shoujo's "Honeonna In A Box" with "Jailbait In A Bag," the second half of the show lacked a lot of punch. Even Haruhi Kamichu'ing the weather and Mikuru playing beach ball—XTREME STYLE!—couldn't make up for the lack of nuance and almost pedestrian manner delivered, compared to what investors have become accustomed to.

MUSHISHI 11

Mushishi went all Miyazaki this week with their latest story: Ginkonoke Hime. Added explanation for Ginko's ronin manner couldn't stop this episode from making consumers want to breath in the fresh mountain leaves and take a 22 minute nap. We at ASX ask what is up with all small towns and villages breeding crazy girls? Whatever happened to AIR?

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB GOES PUBLIC

This new security is a good chance for those wanting to diversify their porfolio with a little bishounen action. Ouran High School Host Club looks to specialize in tight direction, it-nearly-is-but-it's-not yaoi, and an emphasis on comedy over the emo usually associated with such handsome lads. While no announcement has been made, it seems that a division branching into HLA! in the future is practically inevitable given the company structure. You run more risk drinking instant coffee than you do losing money on this company.

Investing in OURAN won't turn you bent, but it may save you from becoming a filthy commoner

PANI PONI DASH! 19

The Avian Bird Flu media scare affected PPD in an oddly positive way, as the entire board of directors was quarantined and the company switched to promoting the usage of Michael Jackson approved face masks. Episode 19 followed suit with the weekly news and increased output of bewb production, building on the latest consumer craze.

PETOPETO-SAN ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION

Realizing that there was no way in hell PPSN should be that close to BLCH share prices in the midst of their Filler du Jour phase, PetoPeto-San Industries took a nice ride into the low thirties.

ROZEN MAIDEN 5-6

RZEN pulled from up from last week's drop by capatalizing on it's product strength: malicious humor at everyone's expense. Suiseiseki impressed investors with her part in the great strawberry heist of '05. Scary Clown Screentime hindered trading slightly, but a hot cliffhanger with Shinku's assets being frozen helped RZEN round out 3 points ahead.

THE THIRD GOES PUBLIC

For investors looking for the next hot secrurity, The Third: Aoi Hitomi no Shoujo offers some opportunities for those interested in hot action, quality direction, long title names, and really awkward exposition. Their starting lineup includes a backseat mystery and katana wielding schoolgirl who is also a chiropteran alledgedly more than a one-note sterotype. While homeland security is currently investigating this breach of standard anime conduct, THIRD looks to be a smart investment option.

Analysts predict that problems like this will be small fry for The Third

TOKKO 2

TOKK's market price was nowhere near rising proud, unlike the main character's morning wood that had just inked a deal with Lolicon. In fact, aside from the requisite siscon service, investors could not drop stock fast enough. It finally delisted from the index at $15.

XXXHOLIC GOES PUBLIC

New to the exchange, xxxHOLiC is—ARRGH OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIS BODY?! THESE PEOPLE'S LIMBS ARE HUGE!! Uhh.. ahem. This company is perfect for those who are unafraid of high risk investments, eLiTe spelling, or spirits that look like giant french-ticklers.

Mixing it up with the other spring season titles, xxxHOLiC has one of the largest PR campaigns behind it due to their large number of fans from the manga. But aside from the strength of a huge hype machine, their first episode press-release offered very little indication as to what their 6 month business plan is or even what market their product is geared towards. XHOLC is certainly an interesting stock for the most adventerous trader.

And seriously, their bodies are freaking me out man.

XHOLC came on the market amidst fanfare, but exactly what is it selling?

YAKITATE!! JAPAN 59-60

JPAN bounced back into the green with timely use of some major copyright infringement. New company reps, Monica and Suwabara Gai, managed to wash away taint from the recent Haniwa-gate scandal. Some wonder how they will be able to present a faked miscarriage in a comedic light in the future, but for now JPAN holds onto a full point and quarter rise.

NOTE: Unless otherwise mentioned, no Previews or Spoilers are used and/or wanted to base the above market data on.